I do hate it when I phone a big organisation and an answering voice rather than a human replies. The world population is 7.8 billion. Why can't these companies find just one person to speak to me on the phone?
Here's a recent conversation.
- Your call is important to us. You are number 1,000,000 in the queue. Please hold.
Dirge funereal music to put me in the mood. Ten weeks later ...
- Please press 1 if you are an existing customer. Press 2 if you wish to join us as a new customer. Press 3 if you wish to leave us. Press 4 if you have lost the will to live. Press 5 to hear these options again.
- As an existing customer please type your account number followed by the # key.
- We do not recognise this account. Please type again followed by the # key.
- Welcome Victor S E Moubarak. Please speak clearly the nature of your enquiry.
- YOU ... HAVE ... SENT ... THE ... WRONG ... SHOES ...
- You wish to purchase a pair of shoes.
- NO ... YOU ... SENT ... WRONG SHOES ...
- You require red shoes.
- NOOOOO ... YOU DEAF ***** !!!!
- You wish to purchase Def Leppard music CD.
- NO ... I ... WISH ... TO ... SPEAK ... TO ... A ... HUMAN ...
- You wish to purchase hummus. This is mashed chickpeas blended with tahini, lemon juice, and garlic.
- NO DAMMIT ... NOT HUMMUS ... NOT DEF LEPPARD ... SHOES .... SHOES ... WRONG .... SHOES ...
- You have pressed 1 - your call is important to us. You are number 233,416 in the queue. Please hold.
NOTE: Does anyone wish to buy a pair of shoes? Female. One red. One green. One with high heel. One not high heel. One size 9. One size 11. Cost price £19.99 - I'll pay the postage!!!