Driving to work

These are my thoughts on my long drives to and from work.

Dum … de dum … de dum … dum dum de dum dum … do …

Ooh … dear me … Another long drive to work huh …

Every day, every morning, I have to drive for miles and miles to go to work and I always get stuck on this motorway.

There's always some holdup or other over here. It’s either an accident, a detour or some road works. And it's the only motorway to take me to work there isn't another way of going there. I can see cars ahead for miles and miles and cars all around me and behind me too.  We're all driving at zero miles an hour. Every day going to work by car and driving back home again in the evening.

What a waste of time what an effort. Everyone in our office does not live in the city. They all live in towns and villages around the city and they all come into work every morning. Some by car, some by train, and there's a couple of people who come in by motorcycle. So we all wake up in our homes at the early hours and get to work in the city and go back home every evening.

And it takes us hours to do this journey every day. What a waste of time and effort, not counting the financial cost of fuel and on the environment.

Now … there must be a better way surely of doing this. After all … we've all got access to the internet and we all have cell phones and television. Surely there must be a way of connecting us all and we can communicate with each other on the internet and on cell phones. And we don't need to go to the office at all. We can all work from home and save us all this driving …

Yeah … I'm sure we can all do that … I’ll mention it to the boss. It will save our organisation a fortune too, I bet.

Oh … the doorkeepers … that's one thing I forgot. The doorkeepers or security guards as they call themselves these days. I forgot about them. They can’t work from home can they?

Or can they? I suppose they can work from home too … we can fit a camera by the front door in our office building entrance and they can have a monitor at home and they can actually check through their monitors who wants to come in and out of the building. They can check their identity cards and with a remote control button they can actually open the doors to the office. Brilliant! 

Mind you the doorkeepers will still have to come in in the morning anyway to open up and let the cleaners in because the cleaners come in very early in the morning and they are not company employees. They don’t each have identity cards as individuals. 

Also the delivery men and women … you know … people delivering mail, parcels and such things. They don’t have ID cards and someone’s got to let them in the building.

One doorkeeper can be designated to come in early and open up for them, then go home and monitor the whole proceedings with his camera and remote control button to open the door. Simple!

A better idea would be to recruit cleaners who are married to doorkeepers. That way the cleaners could have a key to the building and open up for themselves and when they finished cleaning they can give the key to their doorkeepers husbands. I’ll speak to the HR Department about this.

An even better idea would be to hire doorkeepers who can also do the cleaning. Pay them a little bit more and it is cheaper than hiring two people one to clean and the other to mind the doors.

Wait a minute … wait a minute … if we're all working from home do we need to open up to clean the building anyway?

Oh … something else I forgot … the restaurant … the restaurant staff … they need to come in and prepare the meals … let’s think about this … I suppose they can work from home too … you know … they can do the cooking and washing of the pots and pans and all that from home and bring the food into the building at lunchtime for the staff to eat.

I guess our employees can drive to the office at lunchtime for their meals then return home to work …

No that's too complicated … let's think this through. If we all work from home and we all eat our own food at home, we don't need the restaurant staff at all do we? We can close the restaurant and save on restaurant staff, save on cleaning, save on doorkeepers too.  Fire the lot of them.

I'm not thinking this very well am I? If there's nobody in the office what is the point of having an office?

Customers … customers I've forgot about the customers … Now all our customers are from other businesses we work with. Other businesses and their employees come to us to discuss marketing campaigns and sales figures and things like that. So it's mostly meetings with other businesses employees … Okay what if we get our customers to visit us at home for all these meetings? That would be fun for them and we can close our offices altogether and save all that rent and electricity and heating and all that … and save all that driving every day.

That's it … that's a good idea … we close everything and we'll get our customers to come and meet us in our homes

Mind you … that would cause me some difficulties because of my cat. I'm sure my cat will find a way to embarrass me with my customers. No doubt he’ll bring in a half-dead mouse to the meeting. It always boils down to my cat. I can't do anything with my cat. We could all work from home if it wasn't for my cat. I'll have to think this through before discussing it with my boss.

Meanwhile … drive on … yeah … drive on.