The One-Liner Cruise

 

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.

My fear of moving stairs is escalating.

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

The inventor of the throat lozenge died last month. There was no coffin at his funeral.

My friend worships exhaust pipes, he’s a catholic converter.

Yesterday I went to the corner shop – bought 4 corners.

I told my wife that what she is wearing is inappropriate for gardening. But she’s digging in her heels.

My boss calls me "the computer". Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes

What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry? Never lick the spoon.

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak.

Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it.

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got fired. I just couldn’t concentrate.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was gathering dust.