Memories

 

My Blogging friend Jack wrote the other day about memories from his past and things he had done. I suppose we all do this from time to time. We sit back and reminisce about the past, what we did or did not do, and whether we did the right thing.

I was thinking about my past the other day. I remember the first day I met my wife at a glue factory where we worked. We bonded immediately. I was at my desk and I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless. I wrote her a poem:

I dig

You dig

He digs

She digs

We dig 

They dig

It's not a long poem. But it's deep.

I then left the glue factory and got another job. I told her I work with animals. She was so happy because she loves animals. She asked me what I do, and I told her I was a butcher. This upset her for some unknown reason. I do actually love animals. I spent a fortune on sick animals over the years. Horses and dogs mainly. Mind you, I did not know they were sick before the race began. 

When we got married I bought her a fridge as a wedding present. I couldn't wait to see her face light up when she opened it.

Marriage has not always been plain sailing. I remember when she left me to go to her Mom because of my depression. That cheered me up. As I said ... not plain sailing. There was the time when the washing machine broke down; that was fifty shirts of grey!

Her father always used to say, "as one door closes another one opens!" He was a terrible cabinet maker. Another of his famous sayings was "take everything with a pinch of salt". Mind you, he made a horrible cup of tea. He was always inventing or repeating catchphrases, like "always fight fire with fire", which explains why he was thrown out from the fire brigade. 

One day he advised me, "never, ever take advice from anyone!" So I ignored him. He told me that in life there are two words which will open any doors for me - "PULL" and "PUSH". 

On his death bed he saw me eating the last cookie in the plate beside him. He called me closer to him with his finger and whispered in my ear "selfish". That's how I became a fishmonger.

I also remember years ago I had a lovely little dog. I had trained him to juggle and bounce a ball on his head. But he only did it on the radio program I presented at the time. He would not do it on TV because his agent forbade it on account that you could see the ball was suspended from the ceiling with a piece of string. That dog was also a ventriloquist. I would hold a little dog puppet in my hand and the dog would do all the noises when I spoke to it. Again, only on the radio. It was an old dog. Which goes to show that you are never too old to learn something stupid.

Oh memories ... I recall when I lived in London I had nice Italian neighbours. They were an elderly couple who, although they had been in the UK for many years, they had still to master the language. They spoke in broken English and had difficulty expressing themselves; even though their children and grandchildren were fluent in English and Italian. I did not tell this couple that I spoke Italian. I always conversed with them in English which of course took longer for us to understand each other.

One day, in sheer desperation, I spoke to them in Italian. They were astounded that I could speak their language. I said, "I waited so long for you to learn English I thought it would be quicker for me to learn Italian overnight!" 

Anyway, that's enough reminiscing for one day. What can you remember from your past?