Saturday, 29 October 2022

What the ...

I'm not sure whether you have these where you live, but over here they are all over the place. They are little remote controlled trolleys which run slowly on the side-walk from a shop all the way to your house. Once they arrive you open them, (presumably with a pre-set password), and you take the groceries you have ordered on-line. 

In theory, a good idea. In practice, I don't think so. 

They do away with a big van delivering to your door, and thus less pollution and no need to employ drivers, (more redundancies and people out of work - hooray for technology!). But in practice they are too small and you can hardly put more than a tin of cat food in them. No room to swing a cat, as they say around here. So unless what you need is a few emergency essentials, like a tourniquet because of an unfortunate accident, then these driver-less robots are of no use. Anyway, the average grocery shop does not sell tourniquets so don't bother ordering one. 

They are generally very quiet when driving slowly, and the other day I nearly tripped on one at night when walking the dog. She/he/it stopped suddenly. I did not bend down to see what sex these things are; but it stopped suddenly as it detected me. The dog sniffed it a few times and then proceeded to do what dogs do when they see a tree or lamp-post. I pulled him away quickly and looked for a tree before he chose my leg instead. And that's another reason why I don't like these machines.

It realised the way was clear and it moved on a little further to the end of the road. It wanted to cross to the other side. There was a car coming. The car stopped. The robot-on-wheels stopped. The driver of the car flashed his lights to indicate to the contraption to cross the road. Obviously it does not see nor understands "driver talk". It did not move. The driver beckoned with his hands to cross the road. The machine sensed the presence of the vehicle and remained still. Stale-mate. No one moved for two or three minutes. Eventually the driver moved on shouting various expletives out of the window at me, thinking I was controlling the diabolical delivery box. And that's yet another reason why I don't like these machines. 

As the car drove off and I approached the box on wheels it started pirouetting 360* as the GPS system it was linked to tried to relocate its position. Then it talked to me. I jumped out of my skin. I never expected these machines to talk. It detected me and the dog and then said, "Which way to Acacia Avenue, mate?"

"Mate? ... Mate?" I hate it when I am addressed as mate. We have hardly been introduced and this 21st Century piece of crap is addressing me as mate. What should I call it? Mechanical Moron? 

Taken off-guard by this talking box, I proceeded to give it directions pointing with my finger which way to go, and to turn left at Elms Crescent then right when you reach Oak Road just by the petrol station. Can you imagine the scene? Me talking to a box and pointing which way to go.

The machine then asked, "Do you know if the petrol station has a toilet or not?"

"What?" A delivery motorised trolley losing its way and asking for a toilet. What is the world coming too? I'm not sure I like all this modern technology. Anyway ... ... ... which toilet will it go to? Male or female or ... ... ...

19 comments:

  1. ...they haven't arrived in my neck of the woods yet. And by the way never call me mate!

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    1. Yes, I agree. "Mate" is often used here in the UK. But I did not expect a machine I'd never met before to call me mate! What the ...

      God bless, Tom.

      Delete
  2. Dearest Victor,
    Very well written and I agree fully with you on this!
    One wonders what is next?
    And what was the dog thinking...!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    1. The dog thought it was a modern motorised lady dog. I'm glad that all he did is sniff at it.

      God bless, Mariette.

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  3. I've seen one of those in my son's neighborhood. I thought the whole concept was creepy.

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    1. The ones down our street have an orange flashing light.

      God bless, Kathy.

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  4. weird. yes. ]

    not you. the whole trolley thing.

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    1. Giving directions to an inanimate object is not weird at all. I do it all the time. The other day I showed a tree the way to the forest.

      God bless, Linda.

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  5. I've not seen one of those, but your account is hilarious! I think Artificial intelligence is here to stay, but that doesn't make me like it any better.

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    1. We haven't harnessed yet normal human intelligence; why try artificial one? The world has gone mad. The other day, down our street, two of these machines were chatting each other. I could not tell which was male or female.

      God bless, Mevely.

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  6. We have not seen them here. HOWEVER I did see something like that in the hospital. It delivered Meds methinks. BUT none of them eve talked to me....
    Good post.
    From over here we send LOVE and the wishes for the Best of His care..
    Sherry & jack smiling still..

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    1. Thank you for your kind wishes and prayer, Jack and Sherry. Very much appreciated.

      These remote controlled trolleys are all over the place here delivering groceries.

      God bless.

      Delete
  7. I don't trust AI in the least, Victor, but I sure enjoyed your humorous story here. Which bathroom to us??? That's a conundrum!
    Blessings!

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    1. I can see the logic behind these GPS driven trolleys; but I wonder if they are economical. A journey from the shop and back again must take about half-an-hour at least.

      God bless, Martha.

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  8. They aren't around here and don't think they ever will. Too far from the shops.

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    1. Over here, the distance from shop to potential delivery points is about a mile. It would take the trolley about 1/2 hour from shop to house and back.

      God bless, Happyone.

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  9. Programmers believe if they make their machines and mechanical devices seem more human and friendly, we'll accept them more readily. We don't have those here, and i wonder if people here would accept them.

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  10. Technology isn't always helpful. These machines often drive up our streets.

    God bless, Mimi.

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