Tattoos

Have you got a tattoo? If so, then tell us what you've got and where on your body.

These days everyone seems to have a tattoo; both men and women. They are all the rage over here. People don't only have them on their arms, hands and fingers, but also on their legs, feet, back, chest and other parts of their body not usually visible in public. Although no doubt visible to the tattooist who must have had to control a steady hand at the time.

There are all sorts of colourful tattoos with various paintings and drawings - real masterpieces some of them costing a fortune no doubt.

And also, I've noticed a trend to have words tattooed on one's body in a foreign language.

A woman I know has some foreign words tattooed clearly on her backside. She told me it was a beautiful love message in some ancient language or other. She saw the sample tattoo at the parlour's window and she liked it, so she entered the shop, took off her underwear, no doubt  giving the tattooist quite an eye-full, and got him to tattoo the inscription amongst other drawings on her bottom.

Now I know what you're thinking.

How did I get to see this tattoo? Well, I was at the premiere performance when the tattoo was shown to a group of relatives, friends, neighbours, passers-by and anyone with an entrance ticket!

By the way, why do people have tattoos in very private places? What is the point of spending a fortune on a tattoo if the general public cannot see it; that's what I say?

Which leads to another question. Do tattooed people go to nudist camps? It must be embarrassing if they do because everyone would be looking at their private business. Or do tattooed people go to tattooed peoples' nudist camps?

But I digress.

I took this woman to a professor I know and showed him her bottom, so to speak. There were no end of volunteers helping him translate the foreign words tattooed there.

Eventually they succeeded. The tattoo said "Washing Machine Instructions."

Obviously the tattooist saw the words on some booklet or other and copied them adding beautiful roses and hearts all around.

I knew a man years ago who had tattoos on the fingers of each hand – just near the knuckles.

On the right hand the tattoos read the letters L – O – V – E.

On the left hand the tattoos were H – A – T.

Apparently he ran out of money to complete the tattoos.

If only … If only we too ran out of money every time we felt Hate towards someone.

Personally, I think we should be more enterprising and creative with tattoos. They should be used for advertising. For example, bald men can have a tattoo printed on their heads of various products and paid weekly by the advertising agency. Here are some examples:

What do you think? Do you know any bald men willing to have their heads (or other visible parts of their bodies) tattooed to earn good money? Women can take part too; although their adverts will have to be somewhere else visible on their bodies.

So tell us, do you have any tattoos? Where are they and what do they depict?