Are you going to Scarborough Fair?

 

Have you been to Scarborough Fair? What a lovely and nice place it is. We had such a wonderful time. There were many attractions, market stalls, vendors, games, music and so much more.

The first thing I noticed is that there was a herbalist there called Doctor Pepper. He had all his packets of herbs displayed on his table in alphabetical order. I thought he was very patient to display them like that and I asked him where he found the time. He replied, "Just there next to the parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme!"

Amongst the many attractions there was a French magician called Too Loose Le Trick. He was short and played the xylophone on the audience knees whilst singing, "Le Nees Zee Up Mozer Brown!"

We enjoyed an Italian Pizza Parlour run by Al Fresco and his Scottish partner Mac Aroni.

It was an international event. Next to them was a barber's shop managed by a German called Herr Kutt. I asked him to cut my hair like that of Tony Curtis. Within seconds he shaved my head totally bald. I was livid. I told him, "I bet you don't know who Tony Curtis is. His hair is not like that!" He replied, "I know him. I've seen him in the 'King and I' three times, and also in 'The Magnificent Seven' twice."

We then visited the stall of a lady optician called Bee Focals. She sold sunglasses that had little mirrors on the side like a car so you can see behind you. I walked into a lamp post and a tree three times.

We loved the display of flowers at the Dutch florist called Two Lips from Amsterdam. Really lovely.

Then there was an open-air dentist called I Pullem, and next door was a French lady chiropodist called Madame Leggert. And further on a man selling perfumes and various scents called N Hale.

One of the attractions was a singing set of plastic dinosaurs led by their owner Tenor Saurus Rex.

And also a small enclosure displaying a variety of owls sitting there on their perch. One of them was particularly vicious and would hiss if you got too close. Their owner, Robin Hawk, explained that the bird had Irritable Owl Syndrome.

Further on there was a dermatologist named Ivan Itch and another medic called Ivor Rawbottom selling supposedly creams to make you feel better. 

And then there was a fishmonger called Rod Herring and a Fish and Chips shop called The Cod Father. 

It was a wonderful day. Are you going to Scarborough Fair?