Christian Humour

DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did 
a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?' 

'No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two worms.'

LOT 'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 
'My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and she turned into a telephone pole!'

GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the 
Good Samaritan. She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on 
the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?' 

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw up.' 

 
MOSES AND THE RED SEA 
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. 

'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind 
enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.' 

'Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his Mother asked. 

'Well, no, Mom.. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!' 

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class 
memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. 
She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. 

Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. 

On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in 
front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.' 
 

UNANSWERED PRAYER
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father 
always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. 

'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. 'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.' 

'How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked. 

 

BEING THANKFUL 

A priest said to a precocious six-year-old boy, 'So your mother 
says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. 
What does she say?' 

The little boy replied, 'Thank God he's in bed!' 

UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER 

During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?' 

Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!' 

 
TIME TO PRAY
A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night. 
'Yes, sir.' the boy replied. 

'And, do you always say them in the morning, too?' the pastor asked.

"No Sir," the boy replied, "I am not scared in the daytime!"

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would 
bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, 'And all girls.' 

This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this 
closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?' 

Her response, 'Because everybody always finish their prayers 
by saying 'All Men'!