Thursday, 20 June 2019

Ring Ring ... Ring Ring ...

Phone rings ... ... ...

Hello!

Hello ... is that 342 177?

No ... it is ... 34  21  77 !!!

Sorry to have troubled you.

Don't worry about it. The phone was ringing anyway ...

Whilst I got you on ... are you the home owner?

No ... I am not.

Can I speak to the home owner?

He is not here ... I believe they are all on holiday ... the house has been empty for a while ...

Oh ... who are you then?

I am a burglar ... the phone happened to ring and I answered it by force of habit ...

But ... ... but it is day time ... I thought burglars burgle at night!

Oh ... I couldn't be bothered with that ... too dark at night ... the other day I tripped at night and nearly broke my neck ...

I see ... I think ...

Anyway ... how can I help you? Because I'm busy you see ...

Well ... I represent an Alarm Systems Company and wondered if the home owners would be interested in fitting a Burglar Alarm System in their house ...

I wouldn't think so ... not much to burgle here any way ... these people are so poor it is not worth stealing anything from them ...

What are you doing there then?

Well, I felt sorry for them so I am returning a few things I stole last week. A rabbit casserole for instance ... tasted awful ... gave me stomach ache and a Frequent Membership Ticket to the toilet ...

Was it that bad?

Yeah ... the rabbit was all too willing to let go of his lucky foot I think ... anyway must go ... there's someone at the door ... bye!

Good bye!

14 comments:

  1. I have an opinion on this but I don't want to have any of your readers misinterpret it and get pissed off at me again, so I am keeping it to myself...it was a good one too!

    I laugh just thinking of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh come on JoeH ... we are all friends here and we don't get pissed off with one another. So come on ... share your opinion with us and make us laugh. You have a great sense of humour. Perhaps we should start a double act!

      Waiting to hear from you.

      God bless.

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  2. WHERE do you get these ideas!!
    Blessings, My Friend!

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    Replies
    1. It's idle thoughts that make me laugh, Lulu. So I share them with you all.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  3. Silly burglar! He should have let the 'answering machine' take the call; but, perhaps, he'd already disconnected it, so that he he could steal it. After all, imagine the number of calls he must be missing ... while he's out 'working' his 'night shift'! By the way, on this side of 'The Pond', we call these guys 'robbers'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess we tend to differentiate over here in the UK: burglars enter homes to steal, whereas robbers rob banks or jewellery stores etc ...

      God bless you, Suzanne. Glad you enjoyed this story. Keep visiting for more of the same ... or different.

      Delete
  4. You must have lots of idle thoughts that make you laugh. That itself is a laugh. :)
    Thanks for the laughs, Victor.

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    Replies
    1. Believe me, Bill, I really don't know where these thoughts come from. They just occur. I could be watching TV, or driving the car, or even in church, when suddenly these weird thoughts occur. I scribble something on a piece of paper and as soon I get home I write them on the computer. That's me Bill ... idle thoughts which make me laugh. Sometimes embarrassing in public ... especially when the priest is going on with a long (boring) sermon.

      God bless you. Keep smiling, Bill.

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  5. The bungling burglar - brilliant, Victor! Thanks for the chuckles.
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. So glad you enjoyed another one of my thoughts, Martha. God bless you.

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  6. What's crazy …. I can actually imagine such a thing happening! I, myself, answered telephones (at work) for so many years it's hard to ignore.

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    Replies
    1. It's almost a reflex action. The phone rings and you answer it.

      God bless, Mevely.

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  7. I can kind of see this happening!! :)

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    Replies
    1. Yes, Happyone. I can imagine it happening.

      God bless.

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