Thursday, 13 June 2019
Scientists Predict Terrible News Of Gloom And Doom
Let's get straight to the point, un-pallatable as it may be, the world is heading for the Apocalypse according to various scientific research.
The sun, the source of all energy to this planet, will run out of fuel in approximately a billion years' time. As it runs out of the very essence that makes it burn so brightly, the sun itself will implode on itself very much like a shrinking balloon or ball and enter a self-created black hole sucking in the whole universe, including the earth, within it.
Coinciding with such an event, and perhaps related to it, a whole galaxy of stars will be drawn towards the earth and crash it with such force resulting in extreme thunder and lightning and fires consuming the planet and all upon and within it.
However, horrible as this scenario may be, yet another un-related event, is likely to happen many centuries earlier which will result in the extinction of the human race.
This is due to the fact of an inherent faulty Y chromosome in men. Since it is the male chromosome which determines the sex of a baby being born, this faulty Y chromosome will drastically reduce the number of males being born to humankind to the point where eventually only females will be produced. As the number of men is reduced to zero the whole reproduction system will be in jeopardy and humanity will cease to exist; unless science can find a solution before then. Which seems highly unlikely.
Consequently, the human race will be faced with yet another disaster as there will be no men to catch the spiders when they fall in the bath.
The population of spiders will increase drastically as they breed in every bath in the world and climb upon each other to escape out of the bathroom and spread throughout the world.
There will be spiders' webs everywhere getting thicker and thicker and stronger and able to trap bigger preys other than flies and insects.
Instead, the webs will be full of all kinds of animals and birds, and even humans, who happened to get caught and served as a meal to such giant spiders.
With cows getting trapped in spiders' webs and being eaten to extinction there will be a world shortage of burgers which will in itself precipitate the Apocalypse.
As already scientifically proven, the cow's digestive system produces large amounts of methane gas contributing to global warming. With such a drastic reduction in the world's cows population this will greatly precipitate a new ice age - known as a Popsicle.
One glimmer of light in the horizon is that scientists and others have often wrongly predicted the end of the world.
Meanwhile, it is recommended that menfolk should teach their wives and girl-friends how to catch spiders out of bath tubs.