"Hello ... could I speak to Sandra please?"
"Sorry, there is no one called Sandra here!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. I have lived here for some years and there is no Sandra living with me."
"Only ... she gave me this phone number."
"I can assure you there is no Sandra here. I shall move my phone from room to room so you can see I have no Sandra here. Not even in the bedroom!"
"What do you mean the bedroom? Is this not the fishmonger's in Aquatic Avenue?"
"No it is not. But it often smells like it on account that our old dog suffers from flatulence. Last week he embarrassed me when the priest was visiting and his look at me was most accusing I tell you. It was the dog ... not me ..."
"So this is not the shop called A Fish Called Sandra?"
"No it is not ... It is a private house called We Smell Like A Fish Called Sandra!"
"I think she has dumped me. Broke up with me. I got this text saying 'It's over!' That's all it said."
"That's a song by Roy Orbison. Maybe she was wanting to listen to the song on one of those song listening channels and she miss-dialled and sent the message to you instead!"
"Do you think so?"
"Yes sure ... I remember when I was young my girl-friend bought me a record called 'I can get no satisfaction!' by the Rolling Stones."
"What happened then?"
"She left me ..."
The guy at the other end put the phone down. I wonder what happened to him. Was it something I said? Is it because I mentioned my old dog? Maybe he doesn't like dogs. Maybe he is a cat person. What do you think?
I'm thinking he was overcome with emotion and the realization she was saying, "Please release me let me go." Or maybe he was wanting to sing "Why why why Delilah but didn't want to embarrass himself." Or maybe he wanted to echo Tommy James and sing "Baby, baby i can't take it no more." Or just maybe he realized you were not lying and he was dumped.
ReplyDeleteIt may be just the latter and he realised she dumped him. He was too whiny and crying to sing any songs. Now you mention it ... I do not recall any songs about fish, or fishmongers ever. Maybe he thought he'd write such a song and win Sandra back?
DeleteKeeps smiling my friend. God bless you, Bill.
Sing it, Bill! Methinks that caller's too young to appreciate GOOD music.
ReplyDeleteAgreed, Mevely. They don't write them like they used to any more. Today's music sounds like a constipated coyote giving birth to an elephant.
DeleteGod bless you.
I think Sandra walked in while you were chatting away on the other end of the line and he needed "Just a Little Lovin'"!!!
ReplyDeleteGod's Blessings 💮
That probably explains the sudden silence on the line. A little lovin !!!
DeleteGod bless you, Jan.
Yes Bill,... Sing it! :)
ReplyDeleteThe guy was definitely a cat person... that was it.
Phew ... I am relieved. I thought it was something I said that made him go away so suddenly.
DeleteGod bless, Ryan.
I remember when the wrong number caller used to get angry that you were not the person they wanted.
ReplyDeleteI got a wrong number call the other day, first on in years. I think people do not just give there number anymore, they call the person and say "There is my number" impossible to dial it wrong. Also with so many scammers I seldom pick up a number I do not know.
You got me thinking, JoeH. Could it be he was a scammer? His number did not show up on my phone screen. Was he a tele-salesman perhaps trying to sell me fish? Or music? Or ... ?
DeleteYou got me confused, JoeH. God bless.
Definitely a scammer. Once they get you in a conversation, they got you hooked. Got to be careful when talking to strangers, remember what you parents told you, never talk to strangers. :)
ReplyDeleteIt is annoying isn't it how these scammers waste one's time. Sadly, the telephone answering machine was not on at the time.
DeleteGod bless you Bill.
You seem to have the best phone calls. How come none of mine ever turn out like this?
ReplyDeleteThey are quite annoying I tell you, Mimi.
DeleteGod bless.
Nothing like a crank call to add some spice to one's day, Victor. Maybe the song should have been "It's Too Late, Baby" by Carole King? Just a thought!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Well Martha, that song brought back memories. I used to play it when I was a radio presenter. I wish I'd kept more tapes of my shows. Perhaps sometime I'll post a few minutes of whatever tapes I have here.
DeleteThanx for the memories my friend. God bless.
Even your wrong phone numbers are funny. : )
ReplyDeleteGenerally, I find life is funny, Happyone. Thank God.
DeleteGod bless you.
Many years ago a good friend of mine used to be plagued by phone calls trying to order a Chinese meal. Her phone number was only one digit difference from the local Chinese take-away … oh dear.
ReplyDeleteAll the best Jan
It can be a real nuisance when our phone number is so similar to some business or other. I normally leave the answering machine on to take all calls before I answer the ones I know.
DeleteGod bless, Jan.
No satisfaction! Well, girls are hard to please. ;)
ReplyDeleteI know ... I know ...
DeleteGod bless, Manny.