Scientific Discoveries

I was thinking the other day. I remember it well because it was a Tuesday, and I often think on a Tuesday. Not as much as in other days but my thoughts are a bit more focussed on Tuesdays. I don't know why.

Anyway, it was raining outside. Just as well. I would hate it if it rained inside. We'd be wet everywhere. Reminded me of when I was young. My parents' home was so damp we had a permanent rainbow in the kitchen.

As I was saying, it was raining outside and there was the sound of thunder. Thus proving that where I live sound travels faster than light, because a little later there was a flash of lightning.

Did you know, that in June 1752, Benjamin Franklin conducted an experiment from on top of the spire of Christ Church in Philadelphia. Apparently he flew a kite into a thunderstorm and the lightning hit the kite and conducted electricity to the ground.

Presumably that is how fire was discovered, I thought. Lightning hit something combustible, like a newspaper or a gas canister and whoosh ... primitive man discovered fire. And that's how pre-historic man invented the cigarette lighter; which is in effect creating a spark to ignite the fuel.

I wonder if that is how they discovered electricity too! Can you imagine what life must have been like before electricity?

People used to put sliced bread in a toaster and it would remain as sliced bread. No electricity - no toast.

Milk used to go sour in the fridge. Other foodstuffs too would rot. Ice cream would melt. And worse of all, when you opened the fridge the little light bulb would not come on.

Life must have been terrible before they discovered electricity. People used to build wind-turbines everywhere for no purpose at all. The big propellers of the turbines used to go round and round for no reason at all. A bit like windmills. Only windmills were more attractive and provided targets for Don Quixote to attack. You know ... the man who sang "To dream ... the impossible dream ..." from La Mancha!  

Before electricity people did not have electric lights in their homes. They used battery operated torches instead.

Electric appliances like washing machines, televisions, dishwashers, electric shavers and toothbrushes and the like were totally useless. People went to the shops and asked, "what does this machine do?" And the salesman used to say, "Nothing! You just buy it and wait until someone discovers electricity to make it work!"

People used to buy a TV set for the living room, then put a piano in front of it and play it for entertainment.

Houses were totally dark at night with no electricity. The only light was when a bus or a car drove by outside with its headlights on. But the glimmer of light lasted seconds until the vehicle drove away.

Then one day someone put a nail in an electric socket in the wall and got an electric shock.

That's how electricity was discovered and the rest is history.

The first contraption that worked was the TV set. The first program broadcast on TV was totally awful; but people liked it all the same. A trend which has continued to this day.

It is often argued that the discovery of electricity is the greatest discovery of mankind.

Personally I disagree. I think the discovery of the spoon rest is the greatest discovery of all. Before then people had to rest their spoons on the table when cooking in the kitchen. Either that, or they stuck the spoon in their ears whilst doing something else, like peeling the vegetables.

I said stuck the spoon in their ears ... not their rears. Are you paying attention?