Wednesday 6 January 2021

How to save money quick

 

There's a brilliant new thrift store near us with great products which are much cheaper than the ones you get even in the best supermarkets.

I visited them yesterday and saved a fortune on our shopping. Unfortunately I was on foot and alone. If my wife was with me we would have bought and carried home more products.

For example. The have these new very low priced toilet paper rolls with no perforations. Lower production costs cheaper shopping.

If you wish, you can buy separately a small packet of perforations and put your own perforations on the toilet paper when you get home.

Also they have all sizes of envelopes which do not seal because there is no glue on the flap. You can buy separately small bottles of glue or sticky tapes for you to seal the envelopes.

The sticky tape does not stick because it has no sticky material on it. You just cut the appropriate length you want, put some glue on it with a tiny brush, the use the tape to seal your envelope or anything else requiring sticky tape.

They have similar non-sticky fabric dressing plasters for when you get a cut or a graze if you happen to fall and injure yourself. Also re-cycled bandages made from old vests and clothing that people have donated. The material is cleaned, and then cut into lengths of bandages to wrap round a wound.

They have bottles of lemonade without the bubbles or fizz. Tastes just like water with a sugary after-taste. It says on the label "No lemons or other citrus fruit has been used in the making of this drink". That's in case you're allergic to real fruit. It says the same on the orange drink, and the apples, pineapples and other flavoured drinks. You can buy about 30 gallons of the stuff for under 50 cents. I only bought 2 bottles because we already have 23 bottles of their Cola version at home. 

I was impressed by their food counter. They had many tinned foods, well within the "best by" date yet the labels had fallen off. You could buy them cheaply and get a surprise when you open them at home. You could have either a plate full of peas, or marmalade, or tinned pineapples. Or anything else for that matter. 

The tin I opened this morning contained "pâté de foie gras". Do you know what that is? It tasted nice on toast. Although my wife was sure it was dog food.

They also had a lot of "substitute" foods. Foods that are like the original in shape and taste but are not the original. For example, they had, "I Can't Believe It's Not Broccoli!" It looked and tasted as bad as broccoli. Also, "I Can't Believe It's Not Celery"... "It's Not Spam ... It's Not Muesli!" ... The last one can also be used to fill your cat's litter tray. Just as absorbent as the real thing.

They also had a pet shop on the premises. I was amazed by the "I Can't Believe It's Not A Fox!" It looked much bigger than a fox and had a striped coat. It was a tiger which tried to attack me when I entered the cage to pat its head.

I Can't Believe That Anyone Would Change The Labels On The Cage Doors!

I bought quite a few items at that store and saved a fortune. Unfortunately they do not give you any bags, plastic or paper, in order to keep their costs down.

But I was not beaten. I nearly bought some string from them, but then realised shoe laces are cheaper.

I tied the shoe laces at the bottom of my trouser legs, just by the ankles, to make sure it is a tight fit and nothing falls off. Then I loosened my belt a little and put all my shopping down my trousers.

Pretty soon my trouser legs swelled up with all the shopping in there.

It was a little difficult walking home. I just shuffled one leg forward a little by sliding it on the ground; then I shuffled the other leg forwards beside it. This continuous shuffling one leg at a time moved me along nicely.

It was difficult going up or down the sidewalks because my legs would not bend on account of two lemonade bottles wedged at the knees. But I just hopped and shuffled along.

When I got hope I dropped my trousers to reveal my shopping. My wife was not impressed.

I saved the equivalent of $3.76

27 comments:

  1. Hahahaha! You and my dad would have gotten along famously. Eternally an optimist, he was always sure the label-less tins would contain his favorite sardines or scrapple. The same man who'd drive many miles to save a penny on gasoline. Wish I'd emulated him ...to a degree.

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    Replies
    1. Your dad sounds like a great man. I like his attitude. I have yet to find a tin of pineapples or even tinned mangos. So far. it's been what my wife considers as dog food. It tastes nice though. A good nourishing cheap meal on toast. Makes a nice sauce with rice or pasta.

      God bless, Mevely.

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  2. ...the easiest way to save money is NOT spending it.

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    Replies
    1. Agreed ... but we all need essentials ... like dog food on toast.

      God bless, Tom.

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  3. It's the ultimate mystery shopping experience, Victor. Never know what's inside those label-less cans until you purchase them! Glad you made it home despite the awkward trek. :)
    Blessings!

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    1. People were looking at me in the street and wondering why I walked that way. Was I a robot? Or a zombie maybe? They crossed to the other side of the road rather than meet me.

      God bless you, Martha.

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  4. As they say "a penny saved is a penny earned."
    Your wife not being impressed when you dropped your pants well you must remember you only saved 3 bucks and some change maybe she was expecting much more and she probably felt "short changed!"

    Thanks for the laugh my friend.

    God's Blessings 💮

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    Replies
    1. She's been saying she felt short changed ever since we got married. Not sure what she means. Her favourite record is "I can't get no ... satisfaction!" by the Rolling Stones.

      God bless you, Jan.

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  5. When I get up off the floor from belly laughing, I will read this again just for the pure pleasure of your unbelivable wit and humor. You truly have a gift!!!

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    1. Thank you Wanda for your generous comment. It is good to laugh. It keeps us young.

      God bless always.

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  6. I prefer shopping on line. Let someone else worrying about their pants falling off getting it to me!
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. I would not want any shopping that's been in someone else's pants, Lulu.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  7. I think I'd prefer to spend those extra pennies!! :)

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  8. Dearest Victor,
    Hilarious story and so many of those things often do make sense; provided we can read well and know what to look for.
    Loved the way you stuffed up your trouser pants, would love to see you hop on and off of the sidewalk.
    Your wife however reacted kind of mean!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    Replies
    1. It is good for us to see the funny side of life and to laugh every now and then. I'm so happy you liked this story, Mariette. More humour soon, I hope.

      God bless always.

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  9. Thanks for the laugh Victor.

    All the best Jan

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    Replies
    1. So glad you liked it, Jan.

      Best wishes. God bless you.

      Delete
  10. There are much easier ways to save money :-)

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  11. After reading this of prudent shopping, I have decided to pay the additional $3.76 and shop the standard way, it is always a good day to laugh, and you made that happen with this hilarious story. May God bless you and your writing, Victor

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Nells. I write these stories to make myself laugh. I'm so glad when others enjoy them too.

      Check out my FREE humourous books which you can download from www.holyvisions.co.uk

      God bless.

      Delete
  12. The best way to save your money is to fold it in half and stick it back in your wallet!

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