My wife claims I have a poor sense of direction. I don’t know where she’s coming from.
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Not many people know that almost all garden gnomes have red hats.
It’s a little gnome fact.
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I just bought a gallon of correction fluid. Big mistake.
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My wife and I were having this huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry. Finally, I threw in the towel.
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Yesterday my wife thought she saw a cockroach in the kitchen, so she sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly. Today I’m putting a cockroach in the bathroom.
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I entered my Chihuahua in an “ugliest dog” contest and I won first place!
The dog came third.
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My massage therapist got fired. I guess she rubbed too many people the wrong way.
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What do you call it when you mix alcohol and American literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
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Two books meet in a library. The first book says “You don’t look too well.” The other book replies “Just had my appendix removed.”
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A shop assistant tried stopping a robber by attacking him with a labelling gun. Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.
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My wife is so negative. I remembered the car
seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot
the baby.
HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN SOMETHING?
...I LOVE one liners!
ReplyDeleteMade me smile; worth sharing with others. Have a blessed day.
ReplyDeleteThese are hysterical, Victor! God bless always!
ReplyDeleteLOL, love the one liners.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA! I kind of miss those labelling guns.
ReplyDeleteGreat one liners and thanks for the laughs. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you!
ReplyDeleteHeeheehee! Forgetting the baby, something we never did, although it was close a couple of times.
ReplyDelete😊
ReplyDelete——Cheerful Monk