Thursday 27 January 2011

Pragmatic Ignatius.

As a priest, Father Ignatius always tried to teach his parishioners according to the doctrines and rules of the Church. Yet, there were times when he had to be pragmatic and accept the realities of life and the fact that he could not change events. Priests just don’t have magic wands … and they can’t make things better all the time; not even Father Ignatius.

Such a case involves Derek and Geraldine. They were in their early thirties and they had a daughter aged about five.

As sometimes happens in life they grew apart and both of them became unfaithful to their wedding vows. Derek became friendly with his secretary at work and Geraldine met the brother of a friend from school and did the same.

In time Derek and Geraldine divorced and they moved in with their new partners. Derek is now the father of a young son from his new, un-married, partner.

At the time, the kind priest tried his best to help them save the marriage. They came to him for advice and he tried to persuade them to forgive each other, to consider their young daughter, and he even arranged for them to obtain marriage guidance advice. But somehow, he felt that they were only going through the motions. In their hearts they had both decided to end the marriage and start anew with their new found loves.

After the divorce … quite a while afterwards, Derek did come to confession. He deeply regretted his role in the breakdown of the marriage. He sought genuine forgiveness, having accepted that there was no way of turning the clock back. He was now with his secretary who was, at the time, expecting his baby.

The priest did of course give him absolution, but warned him of the Church’s view regarding his co-habitation with his partner. Derek understood the situation and never again came to church.

A few months later Geraldine approached the priest with a view to marrying her new partner. Father Ignatius explained the difficulties involved, and she later married in a Civil Ceremony at the Registry Office. She too stopped attending church.

A few days ago Father Ignatius was standing in the queue outside the Fish and Chips shop opposite the church looking forwards to a fish supper washed down with a bottle of ginger beer when he heard a young voice shouting “Daddy … Daddy …”

He turned round and saw Geraldine a few feet away with her daughter who’d now grown a little. The young girl had seen Derek on the other side of the road and called out to him.

Derek came across to greet his child when Geraldine said, loud enough to be heard by everyone, “You know you’re not allowed to see her outside pre-arranged visiting times. If you don’t go away I’ll tell my lawyer to start proceedings …”

Derek walked away without saying a word whilst Geraldine left in the opposite direction dragging a screaming child crying to her father “Daddy … don’t go Daddy … don’t leave me …”

Suddenly the priest lost his appetite and left the queue to go to his church.

He sat at the front by the statue of Our Lady and prayed for that little girl. He could still hear her screams in his head. He prayed and prayed as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Why are people so cruel?” he asked himself, “and why do they use innocent young children in their games of emotional blackmail?”

Eventually he got up as he knew what he had to do.

He went to see Geraldine at her home. The child was asleep on an armchair having tired herself of crying.

The priest explained what he had witnessed and how it must have affected the young child. He tried using every reasonable argument that he could muster; yet he felt that he was being listened to politely but not taken seriously enough for Geraldine to change her ways. He detected some hurt still there in her heart which somehow translated into bitterness and retaliation towards her ex-husband.

He left feeling terrible as he handed the situation over to God.


  1. Oh... how I wish people would read this before they follow the ways of our modern world... So many people are hurting and propagating hurt in their children. Volition, it is such a powerful gift of our dear Lord, and used so carelessly today...
    So happy to be following along. Please join me at my history blog - I have a feeling you will like it!
    Blessings to you,

  2. Victor,
    A heart-wrenching story that unfortunately plays out more times than we know. Children are always the victims in these situations. Also people leaving their faith because they feel there is too much to give up-if they only knew what awesome graces and blessings God had waiting for them- they would never feel as if they had to give up anything.
    All we can do sometimes is follow Fr. Ignatius' example and pray.
    Thanks and God bless.

  3. It is so shard to understand how someone can be so bitter as to never allow any latitude in the relationship of a child and her parent. I've never been in a situation like this but oh how my heart aches for the little girl! Wishing you well, Victor! Cathy

  4. Heartbreaking. Sometime though, all we can do is give it to God and ask for his mercy.

    Thank you Victor

  5. I know firsthand some of the heartbreaks of divorce, especially with a young child involved. But I am thankful that my ex-husband and I always treated each other civilly and never spoke ill of each other to our son. And I never dreamed of standing in the way of Ethan spending extra time with his father. It breaks my heart when parents use children as weapons.

  6. Hi everyone,

    It's so sad when children get caught in the middle of a divorce.

    God bless.

  7. Father Ignatius gave a good example by praying for Our Lady's intercession. Only God can soften hearts. He did his best. This little story highlights the biggest victim - the little girl - who will be marked for life and she will hurt many others. She will free herself of the hurt only through Jesus, but if neither Mom nor Dad practices the Faith, she is being doubly injured. How will she know what God has to offer?

  8. You're so right Barb. What a tragedy so often played out in real life when people divorce and children suffer.

    God bless.

  9. This story is very sad, Victor. Divorce is everywhere these days and children bear the brunt of the pain from it. Barb's comment was very insightful, too. No child is left unscathed after a marriage breaks up.

    God bless you, my friend. I hope you are feeling better.

  10. Hello Mary,

    I agree with you and Barb - no child is left unscathed.

    Thank you Mary for your prayers. I'm getting better now - almost 100% OK. Praise the Lord.

    God bless you always.



God bless you.