Tuesday, 13 April 2021

A Collection of Silly


On Tuesday Mrs Floret our friend was rushed into hospital with two burnt ears. Apparently she answered the phone whilst ironing. The doctors asked her how she burnt her other ear. She replied, "It happened when I phoned for an ambulance!"

A moth flew in through a chiropodist's open window and said, "Doctor, please help me out! I am depressed ... always sad and depressed ..."

"Sorry I can't help you," said the medic, "I am a chiropodist. Not a psychiatrist, or psychologist, or hypnotist or any similar medic that can help you with depression".

"Yes, I know," said the depressed moth.

"Why did you come in and see me then?" asked the medic.

"Because the light was on ..." replied the moth.

Just bought a microwave oven. In the box there was also a big booklet with instructions to make the oven work. It was written in many languages ... French ... Italian ... German ... Dutch I think ... and lots of other languages. It was a waste of time seeing I only speak English.

I learnt to swim from a Teach Yourself to Swim book. Unfortunately the pages got wet and stuck together.

A friend of mine was very concerned that her hamster sat in the corner of his cage for three days motionless apart from blinking every now and then. She took him to the vet who discovered he had swallowed a fridge magnet.

Don’t worry if you have spilt some ice cubes. It is water under the fridge!



Monday, 12 April 2021

Wheat or what?



Matthew 13:24 onwards

Jesus told them another parable, “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.

“The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’

“‘An enemy did this,’ he replied.

“The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’

“‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters, First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’”

Today’s society is full of weeds. These are normally important people, educated scholars and scientists, celebrities, media personalities, influencers with large followings on social media. They seem to have made it their mission in life to tell all who are listening that there is no God. They often ridicule the very notion of believing in God, and portray it as antiquated superstition worthy of derision. Because of their eloquent ability to express their views, they are capable of changing vulnerable minds to their way of thinking. 

Let us pray for them.

Excerpt from 21st CENTURY PARABLES