In God we trust (Not)

 

This may be controversial; but do we really trust God? Do we really ... really ... trust God when things go wrong in our lives? Or do we harbour that element of doubt, of fear, or of suspicion that perhaps He is not listening to our prayers, or He will not respond.

God listens to all prayers. But does not always respond. He does not owe us a response. If God answered all prayers there would be no more funerals.

The important thing here is not whether He responds to our prayers but the spirit in which we pray. Do we pray expectantly in full knowledge that He cares and loves us? Not an arrogant or "entitled" expectation, but a hopeful loving one as that of a child to a good parent. Or do we pray half-heartedly for something to do, something to tick off our list, just like buying a lottery ticket on the off-chance it will win?

When Jesus walked on the water (Matthew 14:22-33) Peter took a chance at trust and said, "Lord if it is you tell me to come to you on the water." Jesus told him to come.

Peter got out of the boat and discovered he could walk on the water. Can you imagine that? A mere human able to walk on water. He must have been "wowed" out of his mind.

But then at the slightest gust of wind he lost focus and began to sink. His trust in Jesus had suddenly disappeared.

Just like us perhaps when unexpected events suddenly disturb our lives.

Recently something happened to me. Of course, I was worried, concerned at how it would affect me and my family, wondering about the future.

As I calmed down a little and remembered to pray, (prayer is often a second or third option isn't it?), a thought came to my mind: This is another opportunity to trust God.

Whatever difficulty I was facing at the time became an opportunity to trust God. 

Is that perhaps the way we should meet and encounter any obstacle in life? Not with fear and dread, but as an opportunity to trust God. Trust Him totally - in full expectation.

It is no point having faith in a Master who walks on water if we do not trust Him enough to follow Him. 

Nights in White Satin

 

Nights in White Satin - Moody Blues 

Relative wisdom

 

I was reading the Bible the other day, as I do most days. It was about King Solomon. (1 Kings 2:1 onwards).

He was very wise apparently. The Queen of Sheba visited him to hear him make speeches and was impressed at this wisdom.

He had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines.

Can you imagine having to deal with seven hundred mothers-in-law? And that does not include the concubines' mothers.

It does not seem very wise to me!

Camels Ahoy!

 

Once upon a time there were two camels ruminating with each other. One said to the other, "Tell me Quentin," he said; "Tell me ... Quentin ... why do we have these big humps on our backs?"

Quentin, who was a scientist by trade as well as being a camel, replied, "Actually Zephanaia, a camel's hump stores fat, not water, as it is wrongly assumed. I read it in a book. This fat acts as an energy reserve that can sustain us for weeks or months when food is hard to find in the desert. When our body burns this fat, it creates energy and metabolic water. Hence the misconception that the humps contain water!"

Zephanaia thought for a bit and then asked, "Why do we have such big eye lashes?"

Quentin replied, "This is to keep the dust off our eyes during a sandstorm when we're in the desert."

Zephanaia flashed his eyelashes and asked once more, "Why do we have such big flat feet?"

Quentin said, "This is to help us walk and keep steady in shifting sands in the desert!"

Zephanaia thought for a bit and asked again, "What are we doing in London Zoo then?"

And the moral of this story, ladies and gentlemen, is to remember where you are at any moment in life and what are you doing there. Should you move on to pastures new or is there still something to be done where you are right now.

When things around you get really black it is time to send them to the laundry!

X Ray

 

Radiologist: Do come in. Please place any metal objects you are carrying in this tray. Metal reacts with the X Ray. 

Patient: Just like Superman? Can't see through lead?

Radiologist: Something like that ... oh ... I notice you have ear-rings. Can you take them off please and place them in the tray.

Patient: They are silver!

Radiologist: Still metal ... don't worry; I won't steal them. Oh ... you've also got a stud on your eyebrow. Please take this off too. And all other rings and studs and so on.

Patient: I'll try. It's a bit difficult ...

Radiologist:Take off your top, and any vest you're wearing. Any more piercings I need to know about?

Patient: Ehm ... my nipples. I have studs through my nipples too.

Radiologist: I see ... Are they difficult to remove?

Patient: I'll try ... they've been there for a while. Sorry ...

Radiologist: No need to apologise. I am not judging ... just that any metal objects interfere with the X Ray and should be removed.

Patient: It will be difficult removing the ring on my navel. The tattooist told me it's an expert job.

Radiologist: On your navel? I understand ... I'll need to call a specialist nurse to remove this for you. Anything else I need to know about?

Patient: There's a stud on my tongue and cheeks, as well as the rings you can see through my nose.

Radiologist: I noticed them. The specialist nurse will deal with those too.

Patient: Also ... also ... I have a couple of studs and a ring somewhere else ... 

Radiologist: You mean ...

Patient: Yes ... in my private parts ... 

Radiologist: Must have been painful ... and inconvenient ...

Patient: It was at first, but it's good fun. It allows me to express myself ... it's me being me ... isn't it?

Radiologist: I understand ... The thing is all that metal in the studs and rings are an obstruction to the X Ray waves ... you know how an antenna gets sound waves coming through to a TV or radio aerial; all this metal you are wearing acts in reverse and interferes with the X Rays. 

Patient: Actually, it does act like a short-wave radio aerial! Sometimes I can hear music.

Radiologist: What? Heavy Metal music is it?

Patient: It's true ... I think all my jewellery and studs and rings act like a radio aerial. Sometimes, in the shower I hear music.

Radiologist: All right ... I understand ... take your clothes off and let's listen to some Black Sabbath music whilst waiting for the specialist nurse to arrive.    

Forgiveness

 

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Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, if my brother keeps on sinning against me, how many times do I have to forgive him? Seven times?”

“No, not seven times,” answered Jesus, “but seventy times seven ..." Matthew 18:21 onwards.

By my calculations this makes 490 times. I've forgiven someone 489 times; so they're getting very close to a thump on the head!  

Seriously though, Jesus is teaching us here to forgive any wrongdoings against us time and again. But what is forgiveness?

It is to accept the wrongdoing done to us and not to seek any revenge, retribution, punishment, pay-back of any ill-will against the one who hurt us. To just let him go freely. Whether he has asked for forgiveness or not. Whether he cares for our forgiveness or not. Just let him go and in your heart truly forgive him.

This does not necessarily mean reconciliation. There are times when reconciliation is not possible, nor advisable. Just let the person go freely in peace.

Also, this does not mean that the hurt will go away. Often the hurt will remain with you. The slightest memory, and the pain and the hurt of the wrongdoing done to you will return. Use this as a trigger to forgive once again. Whenever Jesus sees the wounds in His hands, feet and side He forgives once again. Be like Jesus.

When the bad memories come back pray for the one who hurt you. You cannot possible hate anyone you pray for.

And should you hear news or gossip that something bad has happened to the one who has hurt you, do not rejoice at his misfortune. This nullifies all your forgiveness.    

If the person who has hurt you has passed away, He is now in the sight of God and has seen the event in all its facets and his role, and yours, in it. The matter is between him and God now.

If you were in any way guilty in the event, ask God for forgiveness and earnestly repent for your part in it. 

And accept God's forgiveness. Don't keep going back on the events and wonder if you've been forgiven, and feel guilty all over again. By doing so you're insulting God by suggesting He hasn't truly forgiven you.

Now ... have you got a calculator?

Peace

 

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NOTE

 

Some readers are having difficulties receiving my posts. Please see the comments below from Martha and Mevely. I have prepared a list of favourite Blogs I'd like to read and visit them regularly to see if they have up-dated their posts.   

DON'T LET THE DEVIL WIN 

What do you do?

 

Q - Hello, this is a lovely party isn't it? I am Quentin Fartwell, nice to meet you?

I - Pleased to meet you, I'm Ivor Flatulence; you're not Quentin Fartwell the pharmacist are you?

Q - The very same. The pharmacist on the High Street, the shop just next to Doug M Deep the mortician.

I - Yes I know it well. Just opposite Ken McWind the bagpipes repairer. 

Q - The very same ... that's right. And what do you do Ivor?

I - Well ... today I followed our tortoise all the way to the end of the garden, and when it got there I turned it round.

Q - Interesting! I meant what do you do every day.

I - Oh it's the same every day. It takes Gonzales our tortoise all day to reach the end of the garden. When it gets there by the evening I turn it round. It takes it all night to get back home so in the morning I turn it again. It must have walked miles since we got it.

Q - Quite ... Quite ... I meant what do you do as a job?

I - Oh it's quite a job I tell you. Gonzales is slowing down because of his age. And I have to get to him just as he reaches the fence at the end of the garden or the back door of our house when he's coming back. Because when he gets there his head hits the fence or the back door and he continues walking on the spot. I was late one day and he just continued walking whilst standing still and his legs had dug his own grave on the spot.

Q - I understand ...

I - Not like when we had Speedy our pet snail. Now whilst he took longer to reach the fence at the end of the garden, when he got there he crawled underneath it and escaped. We looked everywhere for him. We put notices on all lamp posts asking if people had seen him. We placed adverts in the newspapers. Offered a reward for his return ... But nothing. We reckon he ended up in a French restaurant. He always had a penchant for garlic sauce.

Q - I see ... did you ever have a job as a profession?

I - As a young apprentice I worked at the zoo. I used to pick up the penguins when they fell over. They usually fall asleep and fall over.

Q - And after that?  

I - After that I was a door-to-door salesman selling doors. Not many openings in that profession. As one door shut another slammed. And some opened outwards and hit me in the face.

Q - Sorry to hear it. 

I - After that in my thirties my grandfather was very ill in hospital suffering from extreme indolence. It runs in the family, I believe; or rather it walks slowly in the family. Anyway, I went to visit him and brought him a bunch of grapes. He just sat there staring at the wall and said nothing. To keep him company I ate one grape at a time until I finished them. He just looked at me and he said 'selfish'. So I became a fishmonger.

Q - A fishmonger?

I - Yes ... the shop was a failure on account of the fact that we had a cat instead of a guard dog. We could not afford a dog!  

NOTE: Why is it we place so much importance on what someone does for a living? And in doing so, we categorise some people, or some professions, as more important than others. 

For example, if you were a successful lawyer or scientist or businessman, would you date/marry a waiter or waitress, or a garbage collector, or someone whose job is considered so much "beneath" you?

What would your family and friends say?   

Discuss! 

Toupee or Not Toupee

 

.

 

Dean Martin & Bob Newhart 

Congratulations Father Francis Maple

 

.

 

CONGRATULATIONS

FATHER FRANCIS MAPLE O.F.M. Cap

ON THE CELEBRATION

OF YOUR PLATINUM JUBILEE 

 

Thank you for 70 years

of service to

Our Lord 

 

Father Francis Maple is a Franciscan monk who celebrates his 70th Anniversary as a friar today.

Known as "The Singing Friar" Father Francis has sung at many concerts to raise money for charity and has recorded 42 albums earning a Gold Disc for his album the “Old Rugged Cross”.  This success helped Father Francis raise over one million pounds for charities supporting the poor - for which he was awarded the MBE in the Queen's 1997 Honours List.

He has also sung in public over the years in malls, shopping centres, bus stations and at his own concerts to raise money for charity. He has written several books, (sermons, cooking recipes, jokes), and has contributed to many newspaper columns and Catholic newspapers and magazines. He spends a lot of time travelling throughout the UK leading Missions in various Catholic churches. 

  

WEBSITE LINK HERE  

 

 

More songs HERE

Here I Am, Lord

I, the Lord of sea and sky,
I have heard my people cry.
All who dwell in dark and sin
My hand will save.

I who made the stars of night,
I will make their darkness bright.
Who will bear my light to them?
Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night.
I will go, Lord, if you lead me.
I will hold your people in my heart.


I, the Lord of snow and rain,
I have borne my people's pain.
I have wept for love of them.
They turn away.

I will break their hearts of stone,
Give them hearts for love alone.
I will speak my word to them.
Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night.
I will go, Lord, if you lead me.
I will hold your people in my heart.


I, the Lord of wind and flame,
I will tend the poor and lame.
I will set a feast for them.
My hand will save.

Finest bread I will provide
Till their hearts be satisfied.
I will give my life to them.
Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night.
I will go, Lord, if you lead me.
I will hold your people in my heart.

Isaiah 6

On the couch

 

Patient: Please doctor, you've got to help me out.

Psychiatrist: Certainly. Which way did you come in?

Patient: Through the door just here.

Psychiatrist: Would you like to get out through the window instead?

Patient: No doctor ... I am having these recurring dreams.

Psychiatrist: Here ... lie on the couch. Take your shoes off first; I've just had the couch cleaned. My ... oh my ... your socks smell! Now then ... tell me, what seems to be troubling you.

Patient: I'd like to ask you first ... are you a Freudian psychiatrist or a Jung?

Psychiatrist: Neither ... I learnt psychiatry by watching Frazier Crane on TV.

Patient: Oh ... OK ... I keep having this same dream night after night.

Psychiatrist: Is it about your mother?

Patient: No.

Psychiatrist: Pity. I am good at dreams about one's mother. Oedipus and all that. Reminds me of my own Mom. She was so kind and sweet. I liked her you know. I wish I had met her before my Dad did ...

Patient: No doctor. The dreams are not about my mother.

Psychiatrist: Are they about my mother then? Do you know my mother?

Patient: No ... they are not about anyone's mother.

Psychiatrist: What are they about then? Because I am not very good at other dreams.

Patient: They are about this woman ...

Psychiatrist: Ah ... now we're getting somewhere. Tell me more. Whose mother is she? Have you got her phone number?

Patient: No ... no phone number. She is young, very beautiful, blonde hair, sexy voice ... and she keeps calling my name softly.

Psychiatrist: Is your name Softly?

Patient: No it isn't.

Psychiatrist: I see. Why does she call you Softly then? What does she say?

Patient: She keeps calling ... Felix ... Felix ... Felix ...

Psychiatrist: Felix? Is that your name?

Patient: No ... it's my cat's name.

Psychiatrist: Why did your mother name you after a cat?

Patient: She didn't name me after a cat. She named the cat after a cat.

Psychiatrist: What did your mother name you?

Patient: Whiskers!

Psychiatrist: What happened next? In your dream?

Patient: Then I am running down the street chased by ...

Psychiatrist: Your mother?

Patient: No ...

Psychiatrist: My mother?

Patient: No ... by ...

Psychiatrist: Felix's mother?

Patient: No doctor! Why has it always to be someone's mother?

Psychiatrist: Well, you know how it is? If it is not one thing it's the mother!

Patient: Well it isn't this time. In fact every time I am running down the street I am chased by a ... zebra!

Psychiatrist: A zebra? Are you sure?

Patient: Yes ... I got it in black and white ... etched on my mind. It's a zebra. It looks like a horse, but it is definitely a zebra.

Psychiatrist: You seem pretty sure.

Patient: So would you be if it chased you every night!

Psychiatrist: Why is this zebra chasing you every night?

Patient: I don't know. I thought you could help me interpret the dream.

Psychiatrist: I can't do that. I don't speak zebra. 

Patient: What does all this mean, doctor?

Psychiatrist: It means your time's up. See you next week. And bring your mother with you!

Mirror Mirror on the wall

 

A private school was faced with a unique problem.

A number of young girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done.

She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

 

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. 

There are teachers, and then there are educators.

Certainty or Doubt

 

 

If you were to die today, are you sure, very sure, that you will get to Heaven? Without any doubt whatsoever, you will definitely, today, on your death, you will go to Heaven. Straight-away, Heaven is your destination, the very moment you die and your soul leaves your body.

What makes you so sure that you'll get to Heaven?

How come you do not harbour any doubts whatsoever?

Or, if perchance you are a little hesitant; why is this so?

What concerns you about not actually making it to Heaven the moment you die?

When you get to meet God face to face; which is a certainty; and He asks you "why do you want to enter my Heaven?" - what will you respond?

Saying that Jesus died for you, and you are saved, will not count. God is asking "why do you personally want to enter Heaven?" - not why did Jesus die for you. 

Why do you, and me, want to get to Heaven? 

Is it because we are afraid of Hell? 

Is it because we want to be in "a nice place" happy ever after; like in a fairy tale?

You see ... we have been programmed to view these things through a human perspective. 

We want to go to Heaven because that's what we've been taught to expect and to aspire to. We've been taught that we have to be good to go to Heaven or else ... ... ...

Some see God as a judging Deity and we stoically accept His existence and ruling in order to avoid punishment. They believe they'll get to Heaven because they are "good people" really, and that should suffice.

Others choose not to accept God's existence altogether thus freeing their minds of doubts or the emotional worries of what might happen when they die.

Either way, we reach our conclusions through a human perspective.

But God is not human. His perspective is not our perspective. He will expect a good answer, albeit a human one, should He ask you, "why do you want to come in?"

Better be ready! 

Let not our complacency lead us sleep-walking our way to Hell.

"Not everyone who calls me 'Lord, Lord' will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but only those who do what my Father in Heaven wants them to do." Matthew 7:21.

NOTE: If you have time; read this article about "Seeing things God's way". CLICK HERE 

Happiness

 

 

 

What is Happiness to you? 

To me, happiness is waking up in the morning and finding there is no one else sleeping in the park bench beside me. 

 

Happiness to me is getting home and finding a piece of cheese in the mousetrap. This is double happiness because it means we have no mice. And also I can have some cheese and biscuits for supper.

Money may not buy you happiness; but I guess it can rent it for a while. 

 

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family, that lives in another town far away.

Happiness is the interval between disappointments.

Happiness is when your dentist says it won't hurt, then he cuts his hand on the drill.

I never really knew what happiness is until I got married; by then it was too late! (I hope my wife does not read this).

 

 WEBSITE HERE