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Bible Stories from the Old Testament

At the beginning God created Adam and gave him the task to name all the animals, birds and creatures of the sea. Adam was enthusiastic at first and as the animals passed by he said in monosyllables "Ant, bee, cat, dog, cow, pig ..." and so on.

In time, he became more adventurous and used longer words, "giraffe, horse, llama, tiger, panther, zebra ..." and so on.

But there were many animals and birds, not to mention all the fishes in the sea, still to be named. So Adam grew tired and he could hardly keep his eyes open. When the next animal walked by him he said, "Hippopotamus amphibius or Choeropsis liberiensis or Hexaprotodon liberiensis depending on the size of the animal."

At which point God hit Adam on the head with a dead bat and said "Don't be too clever, lad!"

And that's how we got the word Hippopotamus.

Adam asked God, "I wish I had some company other than these dumb animals! I wish I had another person like me ... but not totally like me if you understand what I mean. I like her to be beautiful. I want her to love me and to be faithful and loyal to me. To be always with me. To be able to cook and clean when things get a little untidy; but not when sports is on TV. And generally to be the best companion and friend any one in the world would wish for. "

"Good Lord!" said God mentioning Himself, "you're not asking for much are you? To have a wife like that would cost an arm and a leg!"

Adam hesitated and then replied, "All right ... what do I get for a rib?"

 The people of the Old Testament behaved badly, (like they do today). So one day God had enough and decreed that there will be rain for forty days and nights and everyone will drown ... except one family of a man called Noah.

God asked Noah to build a big boat. Big enough for him and his family and all the animals of the earth who will also be saved from the flood that is to come.

Noah built the boat, and eventually started collecting animals from all over the world. However he became over-enthusiastic and collected mosquitoes, wasps, yellow jackets, scorpions, and all other creepy crawly bad creatures on the boat. Remember that next time a mosquito or wasp bites you.

Unfortunately, in his total stupidity, Noah forgot to put all the dinosaurs and the dodo in the boat. Which is why they are now extinct.

Did you know that originally Noah was a farmer, not a boat builder. He is also the first man ever to plant a vineyard and to make wine. He drank it and got totally drunk so he took all his clothes off and lay naked in his tent airing his personality. 

His son Ham, (what a name), saw Noah naked and he took photos with his cell-phone which he then posted all over social media. If you don't believe me read Genesis 9:20-22. 

There once was a man called Samson. He had long hair which apparently gave him great strength. One day, because he was angry with the Philistines, Samson caught three hundred foxes. Two by two he tied their tails together and put torches in knots. Then he set fire to the torches and turned the foxes loose in the Philistine cornfields. He burnt not only the corn harvested but also that in the field, and the olive orchards as well. And that is how popcorn was invented. (Judges 15:4-5). 

People in the Old Testament were very violent, (like today). Fights often broke out between men ... and women too. So much so that a man called Deuteronomy had to write a rule book of combats. In it he said, "If two men are having a fight and the wife of one tries to help her husband by grabbing hold of the other man's genitals, show her no mercy ..." (Deuteronomy 25:11).

So remember this ladies next time you feel like grabbing a man's bits. Play fair!

 

 

Another person worth mentioning is a young lad called David. One day, the nation of Israel was called to fight the Philistine army that had gathered for war. A great Philistine giant named Goliath that stood at over nine feet tall came to the front of the Philistine battle line each day for forty days and mocked the Israelites and their God. Goliath called to them to fight but King Saul and the Israelite were scared and did nothing. 

So tiny little David volunteered to take him on. David took a sling with him and a few stones. He put a stone in the sling and swung it at Goliath's head. The stone hit Goliath and he fell to the ground and David killed him. Had David taken with him his girl-friend's bra instead he would have been able to kill two giants at the same time.

There are so many other lovely stories in the Old Testament. Like the one about a man called Moses who did not have a satellite navigation system and took forty years to walk a short distance through the desert.

To his credit though, Moses did try to teach his followers and the rest of us how God would like us to live. But did we listen?

You can read this, and many other stories in the Old Testament. Including the one about a big wall in Jericho which was brought down by people blowing horns. Remember that next time you go to an open air concert!  

Wet Pants

 

A nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet.

He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.

The boy believes his heart is going to stop, he puts his head down and prays this prayer, "Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat."

He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.

As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.

The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out.

All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk.

The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie. She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. "You've done enough, you klutz!"

Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too."

May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good.

The Holy Spirit

 

ARTICLE BY VICTOR S E MOUBARAK - LINK HERE 

We all have a picture in our imagination as to what God looks like. An old man with a beard is how He has been depicted by the old masters in their paintings.

And of course we all know what Jesus looks like. We've seen Him often enough in films and on TV. He mostly always looks the same.  

But how about the Holy Spirit. What does He look like and who is He? A ghost? A spirit? A wisp of wind? A presence? A feeling? A dove? Or a lot of flames on peoples' heads?

What is, or who is, the Holy Spirit to you?

To me, He is a person. The third person of the Holy Trinity, consisting of God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit. He is a living spiritual being who, together with the Father and the Son are God. 

I think this photo will demonstrate it well.

As you can see, all three are separate "persons" but all three are God. It's a mystery that, for now, we are asked to believe and accept without understanding. See also this article for further explanation: Click HERE.

The Holy Spirit is a living spiritual being who is always at hand ready to help us and guide us throughout this life whenever we need Him. He does that by entering our souls, our very being, and becomes one with us. I appreciate that this is very difficult to understand or believe. How can a spirit be within us? The reality is that today's society is more willing to believe that the Devil can possess people without their permission or willingness; yet they find it difficult or impossible to believe in the Holy Spirit within us.

There are many instances in the Bible where we read that Jesus cast out demons from people who were possessed. This can still happen today. It is so serious that many churches have appointed their own trained exorcist priests. 

The Devil can possess people and the Holy Spirit can and does abide within peoples' soul. The very important difference is that the Holy Spirit will not enter a person without our invitation; and when He does so we experience a total change in our lives.

At Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit descended into the Disciples and followers of Jesus they experienced this total change. After the Resurrection of Christ and after He ascended into Heaven, the followers of Jesus were in prayer indoors, afraid of the authorities and what would happen to them. They received the Holy Spirit in the form of tongues of fire which appeared on their heads. Suddenly they experienced the power of the Holy Spirit. From fear they became confident and courageous enough to preach about Jesus to everyone willing to listen. Not only that, but they did it in many languages which beforehand they did not know or speak. 

Imagine this happened to you. Not only are you confident enough to teach others about God and Jesus, but you can do so in any language.

When people have the Holy Spirit within them they are transformed in many ways. They are at peace within themselves and with the world. They are not concerned or fearful no matter the situation. They know for certain that God is in control and that all will turn out well.

It is our natural human condition to suddenly have to deal with a situation when things go wrong. It's our human instinct coming to the fore. We focus on the matter or the problem at hand and, momentarily, we perhaps forget about God. 

But when we settle down a little, and pray to God, with the help of the Holy Spirit we will know for certain that all will be well.

How do we get the Holy Spirit within us?

“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” Luke 11:11 onwards.

Praise

 

 

PRAISE THE LORD

 

Here's another recording from my old radio shows

Time for Reflections

 

Subtitles/Closed Captions available

Click on screen 

 

 

IF ... ... ...

 

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,

If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor, and

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

 

If you can do all these things, .......... Then You Are Probably the Family Dog...

It's too fast

 

I've been thinking about this logically. See if you agree with me.

The circumference of the Earth at the Equator, is just under 25,000 miles - let's call it 24,000 miles.

If I were to stand on the Equator facing East, (because the Earth turns from left to right - from West to East), then it would take a whole 24 hours for me to be back round to the same point where I started as the Earth revolves one revolution.

So in effect, if we divide 24,000 miles by 24 hours, we can say that by standing there facing East I am travelling at 1000 miles an hour; and my hat would blow off.

I have also calculated that over the years there have been about 120 billion people on this planet since as far back as my calculator can count. This does not include animals, birds, fishes and plants. Just people. All these people and creatures have not left Earth. When they die they are either buried or cremated but they do not leave the planet. 

So it follows, (according to my calculations), that the Earth is getting heavier and it should in fact slow down in its speed of revolutions. And the time will come when it will stop altogether. When this happens one side of the earth will be too hot facing the sun whilst the other side will freeze its pants off.

But right now, the Earth seems to be going faster not slower. Here's some proof:

Do you realise that COVID was about six years ago? It hardly seems like yesterday!

Look at other world events - count how long ago they happened and then wonder how time flies and how fast the world is going round.

Think about that new dress you just bought. It is out of fashion before you have worn it twice.

And the garden gate and fence need painting again. It hardly seems two years since you last painted them. 

We are already through two months of the New Year and Christmas only ten months away.

No sooner does one week start than it is already over.  

I asked a zoologist friend of mine who specialises in the digestive system of cockroaches to explain it all to me. 

He said that this is because with social media and so many means of communications too many things are happening on the globe at the same time. In the Olden Days when people had no communications the only change they had was the traffic lights going from red to green. Those with no traffic lights had no change at all in their lives. 

These days with 24/7 communications there is something happening all the time somewhere on the planet and it is on all the NEWS media instantly even before it happens.

Note how Australians celebrate the New Year before everyone else. This did not happen in Olden Days because we had no radios and TVs to watch it happening.

So because too many things are happening at once all the time, then time itself is moving faster to accommodate all these things happening.

Think about this logic again:

Because too many things are happening at once all the time, then time itself is moving faster to accommodate all these things happening. 

So slow down. Don't have fast foods. Try a casserole that takes ages to cook. And don't tell us about it or anyone else. The less news we share the slower life gets, (or seems to). 

Go back to the days when you had to get off your chair to change the channels on your TV. Or better still; take your TV with you in bed.

Or take your pet with you in bed. 

I did that once. I took my pet to bed with me. The next morning the bed was soaking wet and my goldfish died.

End of Times (Part 2)

 

Recently I wrote about a pastor on TV discussing "End of Times" theory. See HERE.

I have discussed this with my friend Father Francis Maple. This is what he said:

Thank you for such a thoughtful and important question. It is one that many Catholics quietly wonder about.

 

First, let me gently say that what you heard on television — the Rapture, a seven-year Tribulation, a political Antichrist ruling the world, a literal thousand-year earthly reign of Christ — is not the way the Catholic Church understands the Book of Revelation.

Let me try to answer your “WHY?” step by step.

 

1. Why not the Rapture and Millennium scenario?

The Book of Revelation is written in apocalyptic language — symbolic, poetic, full of imagery. It is not meant as a chronological newspaper forecast of future events.

The Church teaches:

• There is no secret Rapture.
• There is no literal political 1,000-year earthly reign of Christ.
• The “millennium” (Revelation 20) symbolically refers to the present age of the Church — the time between Christ’s Resurrection and His Second Coming.

Christ will return once, publicly and gloriously.
There will be:

• The resurrection of the dead
• The General (Final) Judgement
• The renewal of creation

That is all.

So your instinct is correct: the Catholic understanding is indeed simpler — and deeper.

---

2. Particular Judgement and Final Judgement — Why Both?

You have stated Catholic teaching beautifully.

At death:

• The soul undergoes Particular Judgement.
• Heaven, Purgatory, or Hell.

At the end of time:

• The body is raised.
• There is a General Judgement.

Now your question: Why a General Judgement if we are already judged?

Because salvation is not merely private.

Our lives affect others.
Our sins affect others.
Our hidden goodness affects others.

At the Final Judgement:

• God’s justice will be publicly revealed.
• The full truth of every life will be shown.
• The hidden workings of grace will be made known.

It is not to re-judge us.
It is to reveal the glory of God's justice and mercy before all creation.

---

3. Why Do We Need New Bodies?

This is the most beautiful part.

We are not angels.

Angels are pure spirits.
Human beings are body and soul together.

God did not create us as souls trapped in bodies.
He created us as embodied persons.

Death is unnatural. It tears apart what God joined.

Resurrection is God repairing what death destroyed.

Christ rose bodily.
He ate fish.
He showed His wounds.
He could be touched.
Yet He was glorified.

Our risen bodies will be like His.

Not subject to:

• Suffering
• Decay
• Death

But fully alive.

---

4. What Will We “Do” in Heaven?

We must be careful here.

Heaven is not:

• An eternal picnic
• Nor clouds and harps
• Nor endless church services

Heaven is the Beatific Vision — seeing God face to face.

Scripture speaks of:

• A “new heaven and a new earth”
• A wedding feast
• A city
• Joy
• Communion

Will we “eat”? We won’t need to.  We will be fully alive persons.

---

5. Why Does God Do It This Way?

Because God does not abandon creation.

He redeems it.

If salvation were only about souls escaping earth, then creation would be a failure.

Instead:

• Creation is fulfilled.
• The body is restored.
• History is brought to completion.
• Justice is revealed.
• Love triumphs.

It is not a complicated divine drama for its own sake.

It is the completion of a love story.

---

6. One Final Clarification

You wrote:

“Peter and the rest of the Apostles and Saints… are souls in Heaven.”

Yes — but they are incomplete in one sense.

They await the resurrection of the body.

Even the saints are waiting for the fullness.

That is how important the body is.

---

In Summary

The Catholic view is:

• No secret Rapture.
• No earthly political millennium.
• One Second Coming.
• Resurrection of the body.
• Final Judgement.
• New creation.

And the “WHY?” is this:

Because God saves the whole person.
Because justice must be revealed.
Because creation is meant for glory.
Because love finishes what it begins.

You are right — the Catholic vision is simpler.

And in my view, far more beautiful.

God bless,

Fr. Francis

I hope this helps.  

End of times

 

I would appreciate your views on this please.

There was a preacher on TV talking about the End of Times as described in the book of Revelations in the Bible. He talked about the Rapture first - that's when some people will be "taken away" (to Heaven) and some will remain. Then he described seven years of Tribulations. These will be bad times when a leader will arise (the Anti-Christ) who will rule the world harshly and lead people away from God. Then there will be the Battle of Armageddon when Christ will return and fight evil and Jesus will be victorious. There will then follow 1000 years (the Millenium) when Christ will rule the world and then the Final Judgement with a new Heaven and a new Earth.

I think I have understood all this according to what the TV preacher said.

My question is: WHY?

Why is God going through all this - the Rapture, Seven years of Tribulations, Armageddon, and the Millenium and finally the Final Judgement? Have we perhaps misunderstood the book of Revelations and the book of Daniel where all this is predicted?

Here is what the Catholic Church (my Church) teaches:

The moment you die your Particular Judgement takes place. 

It is then decided by God if you will go straight to Heaven or spend time in Purgatory or you will go straight to Hell.

No one can say that when someone dies they are in Heaven. 

Only God knows that. 

You may think that a good person is in Heaven, but you may be wrong.

The Final Judgement takes place at the end of the world when God will divide the sheep from the goats.

Our Particular Judgement takes place the moment we die but there is the General Final Judgement for all at the end of time.

When resurrected we will have new bodies.

Peter and the rest of the Apostles and Saints, and all the "good" people who have departed before us, are souls in Heaven.

They have to wait until the end of the world before they have their resurrected bodies. 

This to me seems a much simpler outcome. We die, we are judged, and we go where we are meant to go. Although I always have some difficulty with the bit about when we are resurrected we'll have new bodies.

Again, my question is: WHY?

Why do we need new bodies in Heaven? Will we eat and drink, and walk, and dance, and go to the beach, and so on? Angels and Saints do not have bodies, (do they?) They are souls!

Anyway, over to you. What do you think about the End of Times as described by this TV preacher? What is taught in your Church or by your pastor? 

Joy in the Lord

 

FATHER FRANCIS MAPLE

LINK TO HIS WEBSITE HERE 

 

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If there’s joy in the Lord let it show my friends

Don’t keep it all to yourself

Don’t ever worry what the crowd might say

Don’t put the Lord on a shelf

Bring Him down take Him round let the joy shine through

How can you fail when the Lord’s with you?

Bring Him down take Him round let the joy shine through

How can you fail when the Lord’s with you?

It’s a sad old world and we’ve got a lot of cares

In debt out of work and we’re scared

But we should be brave for He comes to save

So let’s all spread the happy Word

Bring Him down take Him round let the joy shine through

How can you fail when the Lord’s with you?

Bring Him down take Him round let the joy shine through

How can you fail when the Lord’s with you?

Now the roof sprung a leak and the rains come through

The outlook is as bad as you have known

Well it could be worse and remember this

You don’t bear the burden all alone

Bring Him down take Him round let the joy shine through

How can you fail when the Lord’s with you?

Bring Him down take Him round let the joy shine through

How can you fail when the Lord’s with you?

You’re getting older now and the wrinkles show

Does it matter if you’re beautiful within?

Learn to smile and pray

As you grow old and grey

And lean a little more on Him

Bring Him down take Him round let the joy shine through

How can you fail when the Lord’s with you?

Bring Him down take Him round let the joy shine through

How can you fail when the Lord’s with you?

Bring Him down take Him round let the joy shine through

How can you fail when the Lord’s with you?

Bring Him down take Him round let the joy shine through

How can you fail when the Lord’s with you?

Bring Him down take Him round let the joy shine through

How can you fail when the Lord’s with you?