Thursday 29 August 2013

How to enter Heaven

A man dies and arrives at the Gates of Heaven where he meets St Peter.

“Hello there …” says the Saint, “welcome to your final destination. You’ll like it here … it’s all about love. Can you spell love?”

“L … O … V … E …” says the man.

“That’s great,” replies St Peter with a smile, “you can come in!”

At this point the telephone rings and St Peter answers it. After a while he says to the new arrival:

“You’ll have to excuse me a minute … there’s something I have to attend to … it’s those Catholics … they’ve lit all the incense and set off the fire alarms … and they keep arguing about which type of Mass is best … I have to go and sort them out!

“Can you stay here at the Gates for a while until I return?”

Moments later a woman arrives at the Gates and the man recognizes his wife.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, “you’re quick to follow me … I haven’t even had time to Rest In Peace and here you are following me …”

“Well … yes …” she mumbles, “after your funeral … the hearse was speeding to the pub and it got off the road … and here I am …”

“Oh …” he replies, remembering a lifetime of nagging.

“What’s it like here?” she asks her husband, “does it need re-decorating? I've seen some lovely wallpaper ..."

He raises his eyebrows and says nothing.

"Don't be like that ..." she goes on, "is it easy to get in Heaven?”

“Very easy …” he replies, “this fellow, Peter, is very easy going … all you have to do is spell a word and you’re in …”

“That’s great …” she smiles enthusiastically.

“Can you spell Rachmaninoff?”

Ha … That’s a good one. I’ve never heard this joke before!!!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: God smiles when we laugh. Laughter is good for you. It releases dolphins within us which tickle us from the inside, and make us laugh more! Dolphins are good for your health.


  1. I'm always nagging my children that they need to keep up with their spelling...

    Thank you for the laugh and the dolphins, Victor!

  2. You're right Hand-Maid. Spelling is important. The bit about the dolphins I read in a medical paper which I wrote.

    God bless you and your family.

  3. HA! Very funny!

    I hope all I have to do is spell love (you know, instead of proving I always showed it to everyone)

    God Bless.

    1. Yes Michael. I find showing love somewhat more difficult.

      God bless you always.

  4. I was the champion speller of my grade school in 7th grade. Do you think that will get me into heaven? :)

    1. I'm certain it will get you into Heaven Barbara.

      God bless.



God bless you.