Phone rings ... I answer ...
Hello! Oh hi darling ... Arrived at the railway station already?
Yes ... the children are spending the night at the Thompson's ... Yes ... I know I was meant to pick you up from the railway station ... I'm sorry you've been waiting so long ... Look darling ... can you not come home on your own?
Well ... there's a bit of a problem over here ... There's a yellow jacket in the hallway ... just by the front door ... it's as huge as an elephant I tell you.
No ... I can't get past it ... It's flying all over the place and buzzing menacingly ... You know how scared I am of them ... especially since that day when there was one with me in the shower ... It tried to get me in the bits ... remember? Then as soon as you came in it beat a retreat.
I am not a wimp ... what if the yellow jacket had stung me in a delicate place?
That's not a nice thing to say ... No of course I'm not naked right now ... why would I be? But I was then in the shower.
Right now I'm in the bedroom ... I daren't get out in case it attacked me as I got in the hallway ...
I know it's getting dark ... and there are no taxis or buses at the railway station ... Can't you just walk home? I'm just too scared to get past the yellow jacket to come and get you ...
Of course you won't get attacked ... no one would dare ... no ... no ... I meant to say no one would attack you because ... because ... look dear ... you know how scared I am of these creatures ...
Yes I know it's getting dark ... just use the torch I got you for your birthday ...
No, I'm not being facetious ... I'll have you know I've been trapped in the bedroom for ages and I want to go to the bathroom and I dare not get out because of the yellow jacket. My legs are crossed over each other to hold it in ... I nearly used that vase your mom gave you for your birthday, then I thought you'd be angry ... probably more angry than if I failed to pick you up from the station ...
No, of course I did not use the vase ... yet. Yes I realise if you walk home you'll have to go through the park ... The chances of you being mugged or attacked are minimal ... In such cases when working out probabilities you have to account for all factors ...
It means that the fact that there's a threatening yellow jacket here is a certainty ... the fact that I am about to wet myself is a more certain probability ... but there's no certainty that someone is waiting to attack you in the park ... so the probability of me being stung or getting wet is much higher than you being attacked ...
I'm not a yellow bellied coward darling ... Of course I love you ... You know I do ... Don't cry ... No I can't run past it with my legs crossed as they are ...
I don't know how it came in ... probably through the open window ... We don't have any wasp spray ... if we did it would not be here in the bedroom would it? What would I want to spray in the bedroom?
I know wasps and flying insects don't get in the house when you're here ... they wouldn't dare ...
I didn't mean a thing by it ... it was just a joke ... darling ... I was joking ... don't hang up ... Darling!!!
