Wednesday, 1 August 2018

A Dog's Tale

We have a lovely dog and we all love him. However, I think he is stupid. Either that, or he is in fact too clever. I can't work out which.

Let me explain.

During the course of a day he wants to get out in the back garden at least a million times. He likes the back garden. He sniffs the flowers, looks up at the trees, runs around or lazes in the sun, does his business, that sort of thing. Nothing wrong with that. The problem is that he wants out and in and out again over and over again every time he feels like it. It's as if he is the master and we his servants opening the door for him whenever he feels like it.

We gave him his set of keys to the door but, despite several attempts to teach him he still does not open the door for himself. As I said, maybe he is stupid.

Or very clever ...

Because at great expense we have installed a new sliding door with a sensor device which opens the door automatically as soon as you approach it. Like you see in shops sometimes. After several lessons we taught him to go out and in as he pleases. And this has worked perfectly in the day time; but at night, of course, the door is locked.

So we have taught the dog the combination secret PIN number which he has to push with his nose on the panel on the wall next to the door. If he pushes the right number, the door magically opens.

What could be easier than that? All he needs to do is push 098802 and the door opens.

He just cannot learn a simple six digits number. He still wants us to get up and open the door for him at night.

How stupid is that?
Yes ... he might as well hold his head down in shame. Actually, we have taught him to pray !!!

(Thinks) I can't believe I have just given you the number for you to open our door. Now I have to put up with all of you visiting me whenever you wish totally un-announced. Something which I do not relish at all.

You're welcome to visit, of course, but give me some notice to buy some coffee and biscuits first. Or scones and crumpets if you wish. Don't come un-announced expecting a hot drink at the ready. I may be out walking the dog. In fact, if you were to come and visit me I'd definitely be out walking the dog. Cheaper than having to buy coffee and biscuits, don't you know!

In the meantime, has anyone solved the problem of dogs wanting to go out in the garden as they wish? Don't suggest a cat flap in the door. I do not want to encourage the mother-in-law to come in when she wants. It's bad enough her crashing her broom stick against the window as she lands. I don't want to have her wedged tightly in the cat flap aperture as well.

19 comments:

  1. Are you sure it's not the dog taking YOU for a walk?

    As for your quandry about the door/garden/dog problem: maybe a dog nanny (i.e., M I L) Her broom could serve two purposes, one: crashing in on you, then two: it could be the pooper scooper when not in use of her traveling time.

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    1. Oh no Anni ... I do not want to encourage MIL to visit more often. Once a year is often enough.

      God bless.

      Delete
  2. What a sweetheart, your dog! His name? Please, won't you write more about him?
    There's no getting around his lack of opposable thumbs, but I suspect our canine friends are far more wily than we might think.

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    1. We got this dog from a rescue centre. He had been abandoned, found a home twice but the owners returned him to the centre. Eventually, we decided to give him a new home and he's been with us ever since. He was named Chalky by the rescue centre.

      God bless you, Mevely.

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  3. And here I've always thought that it's cats who are always on the wrong side of the door . . . I stand corrected! :)
    Your dog is a cutie, even if he can't recall the number code for the door. Lol!
    Blessings, Victor!

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    1. There's a number of cats from the neighbourhood visiting our back garden. Our dog looks at them, turns round to look at me expecting me to bark and chase them away, then he runs in and hides in his bed.

      I am concerned he might tell the cats the number code to the door.

      God bless you and yours, Martha.

      Delete
  4. I say that is one smart dog. He's got you trained the way he wanted. :)

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    1. When I go out and clean the back garden of his mess, he looks at me and says, "Who's the boss now? I dirty the place and you clean it up."

      God bless you, Bill.

      Delete
  5. Sleeping pills - kidding, of course.
    Love your sweet dog! Lucky guy!!

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    1. Indeed Chris. I often think he is a lucky dog. When we saw him in the rescue centre he was in a cage. He'd been homed before a few times and then
      returned to the rescue centre again. For some reason people did not want him. The centre had a policy not to put a healthy dog down. So he would have spent his life in that cage. We took him as a trial for a week or so. He was very timid and frightened all the time. Eventually, after a long time, he settled down, (having torn and attacked furniture and doors etc ...). We persevered. he's been with us since.

      God bless.

      Delete
  6. I don't have pets, cute dog!

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    1. Yes Christine he is cute. Just like me I suppose.

      God bless.

      Delete
  7. Give him some time, he just might learn that code! : )

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    1. You know Happyone, when I point at his bed and say, "Go to bed!" he looks at my finger and asks, "Who's Ted?"

      God bless.

      Delete
  8. Well, I wrote down the numbers, Victor, so I can just walk right in when I am next in the UK. I won't expect a hot drink or biscuits so no worries! I'll make noise so I don't scare you! Maybe your sweet pup will bark? (giggles)

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    1. No Terri ... my dog is useless as a guard dog. If we had a burglar he would show him where I hide my chocolates.

      Keep smiling and keep well, my friend. God bless.

      Delete
  9. The dog needs some doggy company so he won't bother you so much.

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    1. I even taught him to drive to the dog enclosure in the nearby park!

      God bless you, Kathy.

      Delete

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