Tuesday, 21 August 2018

One Day I Was A Boy

I was reminiscing the other day when I was a boy at school and my English teacher said to me "Your grammar stinks!"

I remember being quite upset at this sudden outburst, especially since my grandma always smelled of lavender.

When I got home I told my father what the teacher had said and he asked "Which grand-mother? ... I know my own mother always smells of the sweetest delicate best quality Norfolk lavender. Although I'll admit your mother's mom does smell of potpourri!"

I explained that the teacher had not specified which grandma stank. So my father wrote a letter of complaint which I had to take to school with me.

My teacher replied that she had never commented on, nor would she ever presume to comment on, my family's body odour; although she suggested that I eat less beans!

On reading her letter my father gave me a clip round the ears. He then wrote again to the teacher apologising for the misunderstanding and explaining that beans were less expensive than other foods.

On reading my father's letter the teacher gave me detention after school.

On the Saturday I went to Confession. Our church had an old fashioned confessional which was a wooden booth where the priest sat and the penitents would kneel on either side and confess through a small window.

I told the priest all that had happened and how it was really a non-sin on my part thus deserving a lighter penance this week. He said "Don't speak so loud I can smell your grandmother kneeling on my other side!" Although he did not specify which grandma he could smell.

Then he gave me an extra penance for speaking loudly and for drawing attention to old peoples' body odour. Which technically I had not done because it was not me who started all this; it was my English teacher who said "Your grammar stinks!"

I think the church got this whole question of confession and absolution wrong somehow. I got a penance for my teacher's sin!

Moral: So did Jesus.

The above is an excerpt from my memoires entitled 
"AS I QUOTE MYSELF" 
available from 

13 comments:

  1. Cute telling, Victor! But of course, the Moral is quietly powerful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kindness and support, Mevely.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  2. Yes, indeed He did. You were in good company! Enjoyed it, Victor!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wonderfully funny story Victor but the moral of the story brings it into perspective~

    Blessings­čĺ«

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the nice compliment, Jan. So glad you liked this story.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  4. The moral of the story is well defined. I like the way you incorporated it in your humour. Well done Victor!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many thanx, Bill. I like to combine humour with a more serious message.

      God bless you, my friend.

      Delete
  5. Great blending of humor and a godly lesson, Victor. So enjoyed reading this today. Thank you!
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad I made you smile, Martha. Thank you for your kindness.

      God bless you.

      Delete

I PRAY FOR ALL WHO COMMENT HERE.

God bless you.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...