Thursday, 16 August 2018

Bore Bore Bore ...


Do you know any boring people? I do ... Many of them.

I reckon God loves boring people seeing He created so many.

I tell you the type I have in mind. People who over analyse everything. People who do not see a cup as half full, or half empty even, as long as it is on a coaster and does not leave a water mark on the table.

People who want to know the difference between a pan and a pot. Or when is a pamphlet different from a booklet. Or where does the universe expand into if the whole of space is the universe. Or if there are so many stars in the universe then why is space so dark.

Maybe it's me, but I seem to have little time or patience for people who go into details on matters of no consequence whatsoever to life as we know it, or as we don't know it.

For example, do you say scone or scon? Pronounced much shorter. And do you put the cream first on the scone and then the jam or the other way round. And do you use raspberry or strawberry jam? And do you pour the milk first in the cup or the tea first? And do you hold the cup with your little finger sticking out or not?

What do I care unless you give me all the scones to eat.

And why do you stick your little finger out? Is it to scratch your ear whilst drinking?

And why do I care if the cucumber sandwiches are cut into little triangles or squares. I can eat the whole plateful in one go regardless of shape and whether the crust is cut off or not.

Soup ... ... ... that's another thing to be boring about. Do you put the spoon to your mouth sideways, or front-wise? Now there's a dilemma. Personally, I drink soup straight from the bowl, or dish, and lick it clean afterwards.

I was at the library the other day with a boring friend of mine. We were sitting at a table reading. Because we're not supposed to talk in the library I wrote her a note and passed it to her. She said I should not have written the note in capital letters because that is shouting silently!

She is the sort of person who knows the difference between a raven and a crow. And can tell you in details the mating habits of the silverfish.

Did you know that before silverfish reproduce, they carry out a complicated ritual which may last over half an hour without the need of a relaxing drink beforehand or soft music and lights in the background as we humans do?

First the male and female stand face to face, then repeatedly back off and return to this position. Imagine us doing this for a moment. Personally, I'd soon get tired and call the whole thing off.

In the second phase, the male runs away and the female chases him. Well that makes a change, I suppose; although if she expects me to run for more than thirty seconds she's wasting her time!

In the third phase, the silverfish do what they do in privacy together.

Now to be honest, I did not need to know that and neither has it enhanced my life or sexual prowess. Yet my boring friend insisted on telling it to me in details as I drove her home from the library.

And that's the kind of boring person I speak of. Why can't she be fun like other people? Why can't she hang upside down from a tree branch or bounce on a trampoline just for fun?

Why has God created boring people? Is it because He likes them or is it so that we can appreciate other people when we meet them?

Does God put all boring people in a room together in Heaven? Or do they roam everywhere freely boring everyone else about the history of the harp through the ages?

I need to know that before I get to Heaven. Will God give me a room by myself or am I to share with a boring person for eternity?

What do you think?

25 comments:

  1. Victor boring people have a place in this world!

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    1. Oh I live in Canada by the way, I noticed in you last comment on my blog that you thought I lived in the US

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    2. Hi Christine,

      I agree with you. Boring people have a place in this world. But does it have to be next to me on the bus, in the train, in the shopping check-out queue, parked next to me in the car park, in church even. I bet when I'm in Heaven there will be a boring person in the rooms next to me, on either side to me. Good God! I may even be sharing a room with a boring person. For eternity !!!

      Sorry I got your country wrong.

      God bless.

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  2. lol,, well, it takes all types to make the world go round, lol,

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    1. I agree Laurie. It takes all types. But why do boring people congregate around me? I asked a boring person the other day; I work with him. I asked, "What is the most exciting thing you did in your life?" He replied, "I spilt a glass of milk once." Well I tell you, this is not exciting at all. I've spilt milk many time. Not exciting enough for me!

      God bless you, my friend.

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  3. Why do you need to know these answers before you get to heaven Victor?
    I will take boring in heaven over exciting in hell, any day!
    BTW...to answer your question of why God has created boring people, he didn't really! We are all boring! Some just more than others! I just proved it!!!

    Blessings~

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    1. Are you calling me boring, Jan? I'm hurt. I get your point about boring people in Heaven. I was just worried that all the boring people I meet here on earth would follow me there. If they were in another room by themselves boring each other then that would be OK. But not folow me in Heaven and telling me about all the different types of incense available and why they do not set off the Heavenly smoke alarms.

      God bless you, Jan. Keep smiling.

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    2. I am sorry Victor... I dozed off for a few seconds. Yes! If we are all boring than you are, too. But not so boring that I don't enjoy blogging with you :) You will be fine when you get to heaven...God will be there 💮

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    3. Great answer, Jan. I suppose we are all interesting really but to a different degree from each other.

      God bless you.

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  4. I like Jan's response. We are all boring, it just depends on the level of boring we are. :):)
    Enjoy your day, Victor.

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    1. This is a conspiracy against me. Now you are calling me boring as well, Bill. Am I really that boring? I don't sit next to people on the bus, or train, or in a taxi and tell them how to saute potatoes, or how to blanch vegetables. I just sit quietly drinking from my mayonnaise jar and don't disturb anyone. I don't even offer them the jar lid to lick.

      God bless you, my friend.

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    2. Some people can be boring, they need some creativity to liven up their lives, you have that my friend in your humour and writings. That's why I enjoy reading your blog, I never know what's going to come next. :) But I really believe we all can be boring at times, it just depends on the situation. :)

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    3. I know what you mean, Bill. You're right that we can all be boring at times. As I mention below to Mevely; this post was inspired by Pete who worked with us. He seemed to know everything about everything and bored everyone to death with his knowledge and expertise.

      God bless you, Bill. And thanx for your support of my writings.

      (P.S. Don't tell anyone, Bill. Some other crazy posts have already been written to be published here soon!).

      God bless.

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  5. What a cabaret, old chum!
    I think I actually recognized a former colleague. Insufferable egoist she is … tho' time has kindly tempered my assessment: Actually, I'd wager she's enormously insecure, using her intellect to get by.
    (Or not …)

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    1. That's the point I was making, Mevely. I recall a colleague at work who knew everything about everything there is to know, and whatever he said he'd go at length explaining his view on the matter. It became a private joke amongst the rest of us. Whenever any of us needed to know something, e.g. some financial figures, or whatever, the rest of us always replied, "Ask Pete!" Because there was not a subject on earth that Pete was not an expert at.

      Once we played a joke on Pete. Do you know those circular pieces of paper you get when they are collected in the hole punch after you used it on a lot of paper? Well, we emptied the hole punch container in Pete's umbrella standing by the door. That evening he went home with his umbrella. It started raining and he opened the umbrella and was showered with millions of little pieces of paper in the street. The next day he came in the office staring at us and growling. He said nothing. We said nothing and dared not look at him in case we burst out laughing.

      God bless.

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  6. I have to admit that I am just scratching my head over this post! I don't think we need to worry about who we will see in Heaven, boring or not boring! I just need to get there one day!!

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    1. Really Terri? I agree we all wish and hope to be in Heaven one day. But can you imagine being with Shakespeare reading you all his boring poems and plays?

      God bless.

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  7. Reminds me that God is in the details, even the boring ones! And I think your place in heaven one day will be designed just for you.
    Blessings, Victor!

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    1. That's nice to know, Martha. A place in Heaven just for me. I once asked our priest if there were pizza and milk shakes in Heaven. He frowned and did not answer. No sense of humour some people!

      God bless you, Martha.

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  8. "In my Father's house are many rooms..." I think the boring people will share a very, very large room so they can entertain each other.

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    1. That's the best news I've heard for a while, Chris. They'll be able to discuss the different cloud formations, the history of harp making through the ages, and whether St Peter should up-grade his record of who should enter Heaven to a more modern App. and a laptop.

      God bless you, Chris, for being so understanding.

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  9. I think when we get to heaven we will be perfect so boring people won't be boring anymore. : )

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    1. You mean boring people will be perfectly boring? That's worse surely?

      God bless you Happyone.

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  10. Hey that's me! You're describing me. I am not boring. I insist upon it. No, no, no. I am not. Even though everything you say describes me! I am not boring....ok, I'm boring.

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    1. I don't think you're boring, Manny. I would describe you as learned, well-educated, well-read, but not boring. I guess your only weakness is that you like Shakespeare. But then we can't all be perfect. Also, you still believe that he actually wrote all those plays and poems rather than someone else.

      God bless you, Manny.

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