Adverts my ****

 

Time was when adverts on TV were amusing. Perhaps even better than the programs they showed. I used to go and make a cup of tea, or go to the bathroom, during the program and return in time for the adverts on TV. We even used to play a game as to who could guess what the advert was within the first few seconds of it showing on the screen. You got one point for each one you guessed right before everyone else. You lost a point for guessing wrong. We also played another game at adding points for the whole evening of watching TV if we had the product advertised in the house. If they advertised a certain brand of soap, and we had it in the house, that's one point. Some evenings we scored as many as seven branded items which we had in the house.

Now adverts are different. For start they are boring. Predictable. And controlled by various regulations, and political correctness.

For example, you are not allowed to advertise sweets and chocolates for children at times when they may be watching. How stupid is that? The reason being that they may want said sweets and put their parents under pressure to buy them. Also, sweets are bad for children, don't you know?

So now we have adverts for sweets and chocolates, the children's varieties, after 10:00pm at night when children are not watching. I often wondered how many grown ups seeing the adverts at that hour suddenly get the urge to buy chocolate buttons or multi-coloured sweeties.

We are also not allowed to advertise on TV any cigarettes, cigars, tobacco or anything related to smoking. But it is OK to advertise throughout the day various alcoholic drinks and spirits as well as many gambling websites where you can gamble your money away. Because these are not as bad as smoking.

Adverts these days are meant to make you feel better, to feel happy and contended that you have made the right choice by buying the product advertised. I suppose this was ever so.

We have adverts for life insurance so that you rest easy in the fact that when it is your turn to rest for eternity your funeral will be paid for. We even have adverts for Undertakers and Funeral Directors which will arrange your funeral to your satisfaction now, including the type and style of funeral you want, number of attendants, type of coffin and so on; so that when you die all you have to do is attend. Or make sure that someone tells the undertaker where you are and they will collect you regardless of distance or time of death. You can even arrange for cremation if you don't want to be buried, thus cheating the devil from grilling you in hell!

I often wonder whether these adverts provide a helpful service to people of a certain age, or whether they are there just to scare the living daylight out of you. Perhaps they are there just to make money; but it would be naive of me to suggest it.

Then there are the adverts for very personal bodily functions and various products, for men and women, on how to avoid, or reduce, or control, or moderate, or learn to live with such bodily functions which so often are part of nature and part of getting old anyway. There are all sorts of garments, or pills, or other contraptions which I did not know existed to help one to live in dignity, discretion, and respectful privacy.

But then I thought, if dignity, discretion, respect and secrecy are the optimum aim of these products, why talk about them so openly and graphically on TV? Why have women, and men, of all ages, describing in detail how they have overcome certain problems? How do you explain the use of such products to a young person watching TV with you? Or perhaps you should ask the young person to explain it to you; as I often do!

You know ... there are even adverts for sex toys and various devices and products which I did not realise were essentials, or even existed, in order to give me a well rounded education in ... ... ...

Often advertisers use celebrities, sports personalities, athletes and other such people to advertise their products such as beauty accessories and perfumes, fashionable clothing, soaps and so on. And I am often told, "this advert is wasted on you, isn't it? You don't even know who this person is. She is a famous model, singer, actress or whatever else the person happens to be." Apparently the fact that this person has advertised a certain product hordes of admirers throughout the land will now buy said product because she said it is good.

And there I was thinking it is only a bottle of cologne to repel any stray cats in your vicinity.

No ... adverts aren't what they used to be. Not as simple and straightforward as in them days. Some are even too technical for me to understand. They say the item can download certain apps and gives you so many megabytes per seconds, and my download limit is so much a month, and the camera has so many pixels.

What's all that about? I don't want someone to control my download limit, and how much I can download in a certain period. It's too personal. 

What is life coming to? One can no longer reminisce about old times. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. These days nostalgia is the latest cell-phone you had before you changed to a new one!