I'll thump you first then seek forgiveness.

 

I make no apologies for returning to the subject of forgiveness. Someone said to me that years ago, in a heated argument, he resorted to violence in order to defend someone else. He feels he has forgiven the person he argued with, but he does not forgive himself for using violence.

Let's make one thing clear. We all have a duty and a responsibility to protect ourselves and our loved ones. There are times when violence is the only course of action. God knows this, and understands our actions.

I've often wondered what would Jesus have done if He saw two or three people beating someone else to death. Would He have got involved?

In the Bible we read the story about those who wanted to stone the woman caught in adultery. But in that case, the people were testing Jesus. No violence had yet taken place.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. Sometimes our violence is justified when in defence or protection of ourselves or others.

In a similar vein, we are justified in avoiding and distancing ourselves from those who have harmed us and are likely to do it again.

As a Catholic, I am aware of the Church's views on divorce. But despite their doctrines and dogmas, at the sharp end, many priests hold a different view. I know of a number of priests who would encourage or advocate divorce, in certain circumstances.  

Note that I say in certain circumstances; and not flippantly and as a first resort as modern society tends to think.

A priest once said to me that marriage is based on mutual love and respect for each other. When one partner has abused this principle to breaking point then divorce is the only solution. God does not smile when the innocent victim is left to lead a life of hell in a violent or loveless marriage.

And another thing. When we forgive someone, it does not mean that we have to reconcile and go back to things as they were before. Sometimes trust between two people, a married couple, or friends, has broken down to such an extent that you can no longer go back to things as they were. Perhaps you feel threatened, or fear, that if things went back to normal then that individual may harm you, or your loved ones, once again.

In such cases, it is all right, in fact it is essential, that you forgive, but not reconcile.

Forgiveness yes. Reconciliation no.