Legal Matters

 

They say strange things happen at sea. I tell you, they happen on dry land too, especially at my solicitor's office.

I had reason to visit my lawyer Mr N Junction and his assistant Miss Demeanor to discuss a business matter. Neither of them were there despite my making an appointment a week earlier. The receptionist suggested I meet another lawyer instead, Mr Dee Fendant.

I entered a room and was met by a man wearing a one piece costume of an hippopotamus. I was taken aback ... several feet aback in fact. I don't know about you, but I've never conducted business with a legal hippo before.

"Hello ... excuse the outfit," he said, shaking my hand with his paw, "we are all going to the firm's annual Christmas Party, it is fancy dress this year. I am going as a hippo because it suits my rounded figure!" he laughed.

"Oh ..." I remarked, "I was wondering why your receptionist was wearing almost nothing!" 

"That's my wife," he said, "she is going as Eve!"

"I usually see Mr Probono, he is my usual lawyer," I continued, "we had an appointment!"

"I'm sorry about that," said the hippo, "he has been held up. He is going to the party as a giraffe but could not get in the elevator. His head got stuck in the sliding doors!"

"I hope he's not hurt!" I asked.

"Not at all," said the hippo, "last time I saw him he was being pulled out of the elevator by a gorilla. Rather embarrassing really. An elderly client, Miss Fortune, entered the building at reception at exactly that time and she nearly had a heart attack. She fainted on the spot thinking it was a real gorilla attacking a giraffe. 

When she came to, my wife, undressed as Eve, stood there beside her. The old lady nearly fainted again  ... that took some explaining I tell you. The old lady settled out of Court for a brandy instead!"

At that point a chicken came in and offered us something to eat from a platter of KFC pieces. The irony was not lost on me but probably lost on both of them. I took a KFC leg for now and one for later which I wrapped in a handkerchief and put in my pocket. 

We adjourned the meeting with Mr Probono for another day and I was invited to their Christmas party instead. 

Guess what costume I went in!