Thursday, 15 December 2022

Smiling Times

 

Returned by Popular Demands 
(thank you for writing to me) 
more humour for you!


I went on a date last night and during conversation, I told my date I worked with animals every day. She said, “Oh, how sweet. What do you do?”

I said, “I’m a butcher.”

 

To be honest, I love animals. Actually I have spent a fortune on sick animals. Horses mainly, and dogs and pigeons. But I did not know they were sick before the race began.

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A very rich woman in hospital in intensive care dies for a few seconds. She sees herself leave her body in a near death experience and meets God in Heaven. “Is that it?” she asks Him, “Am I dead?”

“No,” says God, “you will live for many more years yet!”

She recovers in hospital and is well again. She is so cheerful that she decides to improve herself. She gets plastic surgery done on her face, gets her hair re-styled and dyed a different colour, gets a new set of stylish clothes and looks terrific once again.

A few days later she is hit by a bus and killed instantly.

When she meets God she complains, “I thought you said I’ll live for many years yet!”

He replies, “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you after the make-over!”

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At least, we are all getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two adults to carry £50 worth of groceries. Today, a 5-year-old can carry them!

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19 comments:

  1. Thanks Victor, you made me laugh to start my day! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I often need a laugh in the morning ... especially when I get out on the wrong side of the hammock.

      God bless, Bill.

      Delete
  2. Dearest Victor,
    Humor is always good to start a day!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    Replies
    1. That is true, Mariette. Sometimes I wake up grumpy. At other times I just let her sleep and tiptoe my way downstairs.

      God bless you and Pieter.

      Delete
  3. ...every time should be smiling time.

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    Replies
    1. I tried that when a man slipped on a banana skin ... it did not work!

      God bless, Tom.

      Delete
  4. Thanks for brightening my morning!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Mevely. Tomorrow, something completely different. How about going to a Christmas concert?

      God bless always my friend.

      Delete
  5. Always look forward to my daily laugh, Victor. Bless you!

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    Replies
    1. I do my best to include some humour here, Martha. But, as I mentioned to Mevely above, tomorrow I'll invite everyone to a Christmas concert. It's at a famous London venue. So, best attire on and get the taxi ready ...

      God bless always my friend.

      Delete
  6. Yep, life is good, and even better when we smile. THANKS
    Thinking Black & white....
    Love from over on this side of the pond..
    Sherry & jack happy with life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you once again for your visit here my friends. It is good to share a smile, a laugh or a joke ... and also a prayer.

      God bless you always.

      Delete
  7. Thanks again for making me laugh.

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    Replies
    1. Laughter is good for the soul. It releases dolphins inside us which make us feel good.

      God bless, Happyone.

      Delete
  8. Those were really good, the groceries one is so true!

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    Replies
    1. Yes, sadly the groceries one is true. Now I eat tinned dog or cat food on toast.

      God bless, Brian.

      Delete
  9. Thank you again for bringing humor and fun to my day.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Mimi. Tomorrow, let us go to a concert.

      God bless.

      Delete

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