I went on a date last night and during conversation, I told my date I worked with animals every day. She said, “Oh, how sweet. What do you do?”
I said, “I’m a butcher.”
To be honest, I love animals. Actually I have spent a fortune on sick animals. Horses mainly, and dogs and pigeons. But I did not know they were sick before the race began.
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A very rich woman in hospital in intensive care dies for a few seconds. She sees herself leave her body in a near death experience and meets God in Heaven. “Is that it?” she asks Him, “Am I dead?”
“No,” says God, “you will live for many more years yet!”
She recovers in hospital and is well again. She is so cheerful that she decides to improve herself. She gets plastic surgery done on her face, gets her hair re-styled and dyed a different colour, gets a new set of stylish clothes and looks terrific once again.
A few days later she is hit by a bus and killed instantly.
When she meets God she complains, “I thought you said I’ll live for many years yet!”
He replies, “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you after the make-over!”
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At least, we are all getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two adults to carry £50 worth of groceries. Today, a 5-year-old can carry them!
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Thanks Victor, you made me laugh to start my day! :)
ReplyDeleteI often need a laugh in the morning ... especially when I get out on the wrong side of the hammock.
DeleteGod bless, Bill.
Dearest Victor,
ReplyDeleteHumor is always good to start a day!
Hugs,
Mariette
That is true, Mariette. Sometimes I wake up grumpy. At other times I just let her sleep and tiptoe my way downstairs.
DeleteGod bless you and Pieter.
🙉
Delete...every time should be smiling time.
ReplyDeleteI tried that when a man slipped on a banana skin ... it did not work!
DeleteGod bless, Tom.
Thanks for brightening my morning!
ReplyDeleteThank you Mevely. Tomorrow, something completely different. How about going to a Christmas concert?
DeleteGod bless always my friend.
Always look forward to my daily laugh, Victor. Bless you!
ReplyDeleteI do my best to include some humour here, Martha. But, as I mentioned to Mevely above, tomorrow I'll invite everyone to a Christmas concert. It's at a famous London venue. So, best attire on and get the taxi ready ...
DeleteGod bless always my friend.
Yep, life is good, and even better when we smile. THANKS
ReplyDeleteThinking Black & white....
Love from over on this side of the pond..
Sherry & jack happy with life.
Thank you once again for your visit here my friends. It is good to share a smile, a laugh or a joke ... and also a prayer.
DeleteGod bless you always.
Thanks again for making me laugh.
ReplyDeleteLaughter is good for the soul. It releases dolphins inside us which make us feel good.
DeleteGod bless, Happyone.
Those were really good, the groceries one is so true!
ReplyDeleteYes, sadly the groceries one is true. Now I eat tinned dog or cat food on toast.
DeleteGod bless, Brian.
Thank you again for bringing humor and fun to my day.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mimi. Tomorrow, let us go to a concert.
DeleteGod bless.