Cheeky Santa

Christmas is over and we're into the New Year. I hope you all had a great time and look forwards to 2023 with hope, and peace and ... OK ... let's be truthful. We say these things every year and more often than not things turn out differently.

Like this Christmas, for instance. I looked forwards to a nice few days with family and friends ... mostly family ... because my friends tend to avoid me for some reason. But the family sticks with you come what may. I love my family. If it was not for them I'd be arguing with perfect strangers. 

Anyway, I was looking forward to some peace and quiet and I went to a department store to buy some presents. They had a Santa grotto so I stood a while to see this man handing presents and talking to the children. After a few minutes two elves said that Santa had to go and feed Rudolph and the other reindeer, (do you know their names? I don't), and there would be a short break of half-an-hour.

I continued shopping and left the store. There in the car park was Santa smoking a cigarette. I waved at him and said, "it's all go ... isn't it?"

"I hate this damned job!" he replied.

I was surprised at his attitude. I approached him and asked, "what's the matter mate?"

"Everything's the matter," he said, "my kids have grown up and have families of their own, they never get in touch except when they want money, the dog ate the turkey whilst it was defrosting, and my wife left me!"

"That's terrible," I said with a tear in my eye, (just one tear - no need to get emotional about it - after all, I hardly know the man). 

"That's terrible," I said, "is there anything I could do to help?"

"Not unless you want to dress up as my wife and spend Christmas with me!" he said tossing his cigarette away.

"I was thinking of buying you a KFC to replace the turkey!" I said.

He smiled and nodded his head with a smile. I ran to the KFC shop across the road and came back with a lovely meal. We stood there chatting whilst he ate it; and then he went in to continue his Santa job.

I felt nice and warm at having done a good deed. It set me up for a lovely Christmas. To celebrate I decided to go to the KFC and have a meal myself.

The assistant there said, "you must be very hungry. This is the second meal you've just got!" 

"Oh ... the first one was not for me," I replied, "it was for Santa across the road!"

"He's not up to his tricks again?" the assistant explained, "that Santa plays the same trick every day to get free meals from unsuspecting people like you!"