And then God created experts

 

Did you know that the very first consultant on earth was a snake? And see how that went!

And now, we have many consultants and experts on every subject you can imagine.

There are political and economic experts telling you why everything is so expensive and why life is so difficult.

You have health experts telling you why this and that is affecting your this and that and there is no real cure for it anyway.

Environmental experts are blooming everywhere telling us that we are harming the planet by our propensity to break wind and we should eat less meat but more beans and pulses instead to save the planet.

All kinds and manner of experts are everywhere. Although I'm curious to find out who appointed them as experts and where they got their expertise from.

These days there are marital and relationships experts as well as parenting experts. Did our parents or grand-parents need any of these considering the hardships and troubles they went through in the past one hundred years?

We now also have dog training experts. Hygiene and cleaning experts. Etiquette experts, de-cluttering experts and so on and so forth. How did past generations survive without them? Or without lifestyle experts telling them how to be fashionable and colour-coordinate their furniture with the wall paper?

According to a weather expert if a butterfly somewhere far away flutters its wings then the air turbulence it creates will move a little more air, and that little air will in turn move more air, and more and more that eventually, several weeks later, a hurricane will develop somewhere else far away. 

Armed with this information I now kill every butterfly in sight. Imagine how many hurricanes and tsunamis I have prevented single-handedly.

Now with the Internet, you can easily find an expert to advise you on everything and anything. If you have a pimple on your nose just Google it and an expert on the subject will tell you all about it; and how to share on social media and be famous in the process. 

I've discovered all sorts of experts on social media informing me on so many things I did not know about or even knew existed. Like for instance how to make your own hair restorer lotion using chicken poo. I am all cock-a-hoop about it and I'm now a sex symbol for women with no sense of smell.

Another on-line expert suggested a mixture of raw eggs and flour to remove unwanted hair. I rubbed it on my beard and now I have birds feeding there.

I read an article recently written by an expert on how to weld metal plates together to make your own ship. It was quite riveting I tell you.

A fashion expert on TV was deriding the sartorial habit of wearing trousers right up to one's nipples and holding them there with a belt and braces. I always thought it made me look handsome!

A friend of mine, a medic, has specialised and is now a nostril expert. The left one to be precise. Ask him anything about the left nostril and he's your man! Ask about the right nostril and he's totally useless.

Are you an expert in any field or subject? Do you know someone who is? Tell us more here.

The world needs experts.