Wednesday, 14 July 2021

At The Doctor's


I wasn't feeling very well lately. Been having this recurring problem. It's on and off really. I remember it first happened when I was a teenager and I started ballet lessons. I used to wear those very tight-fitting tights. I suppose that's why they called them tights really.

Very uncomfortable they were. I had to wear them all the time at home to get used to them. You know ... get the feel for them. I used to practice my pas de deux and other moves you do at ballet. I raised my leg high onto the mantelpiece and the dog attacked me. The cat ran up the curtain and brought the whole thing down.

Anyway, back to my problem. I went to the doctor's. Unfortunately my usual doctor was not there. He was replaced by Dr Angelica Withers. 

I don't like being seen by women doctors. I get embarrassed I suppose. I thought of leaving and going back home. Then I thought. I've come all the way here; I might as well see her. Mine is a very tiny problem. She will have seen it before many times. Doctors tend to see many tiny personal problems in the course of their duty.

So I went into her insulting room.

Dr Angelica was a pleasant enough person and asked me what was the matter. I said, "I've been getting these hot flushes. Getting very red in the face as if I'm permanently blushing."

"Oh ..." she said, "do you have pain in the knees?"

"No!" I replied.

"Pity," she said, "I've been reading about that only the other day. I do a lot of medical reading to keep up to date," she continued. "Important in my job. I get these women's magazines and they have good articles about various ailments and diseases. You don't have haemorrhoids, do you?"

"No!" I said emphatically.

"There was an article about that the other day," she said, "do you know what you get if you go to the North Pole and sit on a block of ice?"

I shook my head.

She said, "Polaroids!"

She could not help me about my blushing and my red face and hot flushes. She suggested I call back in a few weeks' time when perhaps there'd be something about them in her women's magazines.

I left her insulting room rather sad and dejected.

To cheer myself up I thought I'd buy some new shirts for work. White ones of course.

I said to the man in the shop, "Hello my good man. I would like two white shirts please. Collar size 14 inches!"

He looked at me and said, "I think Sir means 16 inches collar size!"

"Not at all!" I responded, "I know my collar size. It is definitely 14 inches. It has been so ever since I was at school!!!!!"

"That's strange," he said, "do you get red in the face with hot flushes as if you're blushing?"


  1. ...ballet was never my thing, I have two left feet.

    1. It wasn't the feet that were my problem.

      God bless, Tom.

  2. Dearest Victor,
    So true at times the insulting room!
    Hilarious story and yes, women's magazines are all filled with expertise advice. Another layer of all those self-proclaimed gurus. All are consulting the other half of the population and counseling them... Haha! Use common sense and a good mirror, not fogged up, and you get to evaluate yourself rather clearly!
    Don't know why some people love to wear tight clothes. At our Church we have young man who wears way too tight tops... like he is 'hanging in there!' We used to have a funny Dutch commercial about King Corn bread which would make the kids grow up fast - that good. So Japie went to sleep over at his friends and when his Dad came to pick him up, all his clothes looked like they's shrunk. NOT of course, he'd been eating the good bread! Haha that was hilarious!
    Look at the short video here:

    1. I agree with you about tight clothes. I don't know why the need such tight trousers for ballet. Fashions are most odd sometimes and are taken to extremes. Like very very short mini skirts. I remember sitting on a train and two young women came in and sat opposite me with very revealing mini skirts.

      Good advert to encourage children to eat healthy.

      God bless, Mariette.

  3. If you had gone to the store first you could have saved all the aggravation of the doctor's visit.

    1. Good point, Kathy. Never thought of that.

      God bless.

  4. What Kathy said! Between women's magazines and Facebook come-ons (eg, 6 warning signs you might have kidney cancer), anyone can be a diagnostician. True story: I once confessed to a nurse (that) I'd consulted and she laughed: "We do the same thing all the time."

    1. You're right Mevely. There's so much self-diagnosis on the Internet that one can become really worried. I once wrote all my symptoms and the website said, "Are you sure? We need to check and get back to you!"

      God bless.

  5. I am shocked that the Dr. did not diagnose this right off. However Imma betting you look GREAT in tights!! Again thanks for a smile today. Sending you the best of wishes and prayers for today.
    Sherry & jack

    1. They were pink see-through tights. That's what frightened the dog and cat, I think.

      So glad I made you both smile, Jack & Sherry.

      Many thanx for your much needed prayers. God bless.

  6. Tights are not for everyone. :)

  7. Takes a shopkeeper to diagnose the problem - ha! And I wouldn't frequent a doctor who gets her info from magazines.
    Blessings, Victor!

    1. Once I asked the doctor's receptionist why she needs to know why I need to see the doctor. It's personal between me and the doctor. She said it is to give him time to look it up on the internet.

      God bless you and yours, Martha.

  8. Next time, hold out for your own doctor, he insults you better, i think.

  9. The shirt man knows what he is talking about! The 16 inch collars will solve the problem. Had to laugh at the Polaroids.



God bless you.