Friday 24 September 2021

Gregory Pantyhose the Third

 

I remember the first time I met Gregory Pantyhose the Third. He was Scottish by descent on his mother’s side, and either Greek or Scandinavian by descent on his father’s side, depending on the lucidity of his mother’s memory. 

I don't know why they called him Pantyhose the Third. Maybe it was a miss-pronounciation of his real name; which I never knew anyway. He never corrected anyone calling him Pantyhose.

He always had a yesterday face. That is, he looked like he would have looked yesterday. A semi-unshaven face, like he did not shave this morning, greyish face. He obviously did shave, otherwise he would have a beard, but even though he shaved he always had a grey face as if he was about to grow a beard.

I told him I was studying the mating habits of the silverfish.

“How interesting,” he said feigning sincerity.

“Did you know,” I continued, “that the silverfish eat sugar and starch?"

He smiled and said nothing. It was difficult trying to get him interested in anything. Not to be discouraged I went on to explain, "Also, did you know that silverfish can be taught to walk in a single file if you play military music to them?"

That seemed to spark an interest because I saw his eyebrow raise for a split second.

"They live for two to eight years unless you hit them hard with a book," I remarked. 

He smiled.

So I said, "before silverfish reproduce, they carry out a complicated ritual which may last over half an hour without the need of a relaxing drink beforehand or soft music and lights in the background. 

"First the male and female stand face to face, then repeatedly back off and return to this position.

"In the second phase, the male runs away and the female chases him. Well that makes a change, I suppose.

"In the third phase, the silverfish have some privacy together."

"How interesting," he said again, this time with a little more sincerity, "reminds me of my Mom!"

21 comments:

  1. ...I haven't heard of silver fish and years and Gregory Pantyhose the Third has never hit my radar screen.

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    1. Silverfish is a small insect that is grey in colour and looks like a fish. Gregory on the other hand ...

      God bless, Tom.

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  2. Reminds him of his Mom??? I thought the silverfish were creepy enough - lol!
    Blessings, Victor!

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  3. I am shocked that he was not interested in Silverfish, Shocked I tell you! Thanks for the smiles, oh yes, I smiled at the birds and cars comment on Shipslog.
    Sherry & jack... resting.

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    1. Yes I was shocked too, Jack. Silverfish can be so interesting. Not so much birds which poo on my car.

      God bless you and Sherry.

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  4. Ha! I didn't see THAT one coming! Their ritual sounds a bit like something they taught us in grade school square dancing.

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    1. Actually, the silverfish ritual is true, Mevely. I research most of the facts I write here.

      God bless always.

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  5. I’m not sure how this fish story reminded him of his mom!!! I can’t think of my mother while thinking of fish, and I never saw my mom chase my dad. Funny story. Blessings.

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    1. Perhaps his mother used to dance like silver fish!!!
      Or perhaps she chased his dad!!!!!

      God bless you Nells.

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  6. Do they then enjoy a tiny cigarette? Asking for a friend.

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    1. Yes I think they do. Some need a pipe full of tobacco to relax.

      God bless, JoeH.

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  7. A little like the minuet? Dancing silverfish--who knew!
    Blessings!

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    1. Exactly right, Lulu. A mini silverfish minuet.

      God bless.

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  8. Well I now know a lot more than I ever wanted to about silverfish.

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    1. You never know when the information would be useful.

      God bless, River.

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  9. Silverfish are not welcome here, they eat books!

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  10. Dearest Victor,
    Have not seen any nasty silverfish in quite a while, which is a good sign I think!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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