Thursday 2 September 2021

When your decision upsets others

We live in strange times where people are easily offended and we have to walk on egg shells so as not to upset anyone. It seems whatever we say, or do, will make someone unhappy, or draw criticism of some sort. So we try our best to please everyone.

FACT 1 - You cannot please everyone all the time. You cannot even please everyone some of the time. There will always be someone who is not pleased whatever you do.

FACT 2 - Someone should have the courage to tell people to grow up and not act like a spoilt child.

FACT 3 - Everyone is afraid to do what Fact 2 suggests in case they offend someone else.

Let us now consider what happens when we make a very personal decision affecting our lives which somehow offends others to the point where they either distance themselves from us, avoid us, or outright oppose us.

Many people decided at some point in their lives to become Christians. They may have been brought up so by their parents or made the personal decision at some stage as they grew up. In times gone by, this would not have raised many eye brows.

Not so today. Being a Christian has in many cases alienated friends and family members. In some cases it has caused upheavals within families even leading to marriage breakdowns.

This causes untold pressure on all involved, not least on the Christian person.

In a marriage, particularly, when one spouse wishes to attend regular church services, or bring up the children in the faith, whereas the other spouse vehemently opposes such a decision.

Often, as children grow up, they may move away from the faith they were brought up in and prefer to follow the modern trend of unbelief. This results in a great divide between parents and offspring, or indeed between siblings.

The tension can of course extend to other family members or friendships too.

So what is a person of faith to do?

The choice is, as always, perfectly clear albeit at times difficult for some individuals. One has to choose between God, or pleasing one's family or friends.

If they cannot accept your decision to follow your beliefs and your faith, that is their problem, not yours. As much as it must hurt, as much as it may cause a drift amongst people, you have to choose your God above all else. 

I have known friendships and even marriages break down over this. But at the end of the day the choice has to be made by each individual in each circumstance.

"And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet." Matthew 10:14

Above all ... and this is important ... pray for those who oppose you because of your faith.

28 comments:

  1. ...some people make inconsistent decisions.

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    1. ... and many suffer the consequences.

      God bless, Tom.

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  2. Your last line is perfect! I don't know personally of any such rifts, but I'm sure they occur. All the stress and ill-will in our world is exhibiting itself in alarming ways.

    My mother was greatly disappointed when I 'strayed' from the Lutheran church in which I was raised -- to Methodist and Unity. To her credit (and my surprise) when she'd come to visit she did accompany me to church. Made me smile when I heard she 'consulted' a family member minister, asking if he thought it was OK, my going to the other church.

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    1. I believe our relationship should be a one-to-one with God; not which church we attend. Some churches are suspect and we need to check carefully though.

      Did you know some people do not consider Catholics to be Christians? Always baffled me why. Although I've never met such attitude in the UK - only on social media.

      God bless, Mevely.

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  3. I appreciate this entry and Myra's comment above. Today I face a dilemma of TWO funerals, it is impossible to attend both, one is kin, who I haven't seen in years, the other is one of my best friends. I KNOW the friend would be disappointed, but would UNDERstand. Not sure the other way. Friend is in town the other is over 100 miles away. Here I am hoping a card with money in lieu of flower and attending will work, although the card will be late.
    Anyway this is a very IMPORTANT subject and you have handled it beautifully. THANKS
    Sherry & jack

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    1. I am so sorry to hear about the death of your relative and friend. Please accept my condolences. I am praying for all involved. I'm sure you'll make the right decision on where to attend.

      It is difficult and painful when one's religion causes divides in one's family.

      God bless, Jack and Sherry. Take care my friends.

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  4. Sometimes people freak out when you do something they don't expect.

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    1. They always freak out around me! Even I freak out by what I do.

      I understand what you mean Sandi. God bless you.

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  5. Dearest Victor,
    If you're always worried about what other people think, you will be distracted from your destiny.
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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  6. We must put God first and foremost in our lives, Victor. His is the only opinion worth valuing.
    Blessings!

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  7. It is so very hard to not care what people think of you. Walking in the faith gives us the assurance that we need to resist those temptations. If God is for us who can be against us. I especially like today's reading. You spoke most eloquently and to the point about this problem. Thank you. Blessings, Victor.

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    1. I agree it is hard not to care about what others think of us. Especially when differences of opinions regarding one's faith leads to divisions and separations. We need to pray in such cases.

      God bless, Nells.

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  8. AMEN - I agree with all you said. Our daughter has turned her back on us because of our belief in Jesus. So sad, but I pray for her every day.

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    1. That is the loving thing you can do, Happyone; pray for your daughter regularly. Hand her over to God. Ask Him to take care of her and show her the way.

      Praying for you all. God bless.

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  9. Pray for them and continue to love them no matter what. It might be that your prayers and love, even if you never tell them another word, could bring them into the fold.

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  10. I respect all person's religious decisions. I do not accept or respect those that try and force their beliefs on me. I am pretty sure that God is not as ridged as some fanatics who insist on certain behavior. My God wants his children to respect others to do no harm, to share and enjoy his worldly gifts and to have a sense of humor and enjoyment. The Ten Commandments pretty much cover most issues, how we praise and serve God is strictly personal.

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    1. I agree with everything you say here, JoeH. God does not place undue restrictions on how we are to behave. His Commandment is to love one another.

      God bless you.

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  11. One of the most important things I've learned is to not be concerned about what other people think.

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    1. Agreed, but sometimes their behaviour can tear families apart.

      God bless, Kathy.

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  12. "In a marriage, particularly, when one spouse wishes to attend regular church services, or bring up the children in the faith, whereas the other spouse vehemently opposes such a decision."
    This is the sort of thing that needs to be sorted LONG before any wedding plans are even thought about. And I have always thought being Christian is a way of life, not a religion, ALL religions have Christians, just different kinds, like Catholics, Baptists, Methodists and so on. Being Christian simply means having Faith and Trusting in God.

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    1. You are right, River. Being Christian is a way of life - having faith and trust in God. Sadly, many people these days enter a relationship, even marriage, without sorting out these important things. They see the "princess" or "knight in shining armour" and expect to live happily ever after. Real life is not like that.

      God bless.

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  13. I came over to say thank you for sending me to Lulu's blog. I appreciated her words there. Our oldest daughter tried to engage me tonight. She was watching an ABC special about Jim and Tammy Fay Bakker and their downfall. I don't watch any main stream media programming. I know the Bakkers were not Christians and I remember their story when they they first faltered and fell from their empire. Anyway, I sound annoyed but I use to worry about our children. But you can not live their lives for them and I can only be responsible for my own salvation. I put God first. I don't care what this celebrity or that politician thinks about how I believe.. I try hard, and it is hard in this world today, to stay on track because everywhere you turn Christians are hated. I grew up in the Catholic church. I believe both of my parents and my grandparents and a sibling are all in the presence of God's glory. I have spent much time in prayer. I feel like I do not belong to this world but rather waiting to go to Gods world. I know God loves all of us and we have to make that choice to follow Him completely or not. I don't know what else to say.I was raised right and thought we had raised our children right. But we can not make their decision for them so I have to leave that alone. I always ask for prayer for our oldest as she is so far in left field I can not force her to believe we believe. I can only love and pray for her. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here.

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  14. Thank you Tata for this heartfelt comment. (Can I call you Tata?)

    The world is confused right now. Many are following false gods, like money, possessions, influence, power and so on. I guess it was ever so. Today, with TV and social media, there are many celebrities and people in the public eye who are encouraging others away from God. It is understandable when today's generation distance themselves from God.

    As parents, we worry about our children when they wander from the path. I believe the thing to do is to pray for them; and then pray some more. Tell God how you feel about your children. Ask Him to take care of them and to bring them back to the Faith.

    Look at the life of Saint Augustine, for instance. In spite of the good warnings of his mother, as a youth Augustine lived a hedonistic lifestyle associating with young men who boasted of their sexual exploits. His very nature, he says, was flawed. 'It was foul, and I loved it. I loved my own error—not that for which I erred, but the error itself.' Note also his famously insincere prayer, "Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet."

    However, it is said that his mother prayed all her life for God to help him and eventually Augustine turned to God and became a leading figure in the Church.

    I am praying for you and your family right now.

    God bless you all.

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I PRAY FOR ALL WHO COMMENT HERE.

God bless you.