Close encounter in my bed

 

I was in  my hotel room in deepest Northern Scotland. Lying on my back in bed in total darkness. It was so dark that I could not even see myself. 

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness around me I still could see nothing. I did not know if my eyes were open or shut. I had to check with my hands.

Eventually, I noticed a red spot on the ceiling above me. It was a very tiny spot of light about 5 millimetres in diameter. It lasted two or three seconds then it went. About a minute later there it was again. A quick flash or red light in the same place for two seconds or so. Then again a minute or so later.

It was like a red star against a sky of total darkness. Always in the same place. Not moving.

I froze in my bed. I would have described it as a frisson going up and down my spine, but I was not in France. Just Scotland.

I thought it was probably a space ship or some UFO in my bedroom looking down at me. We always assume that UFOs are large spaceships as depicted in movies and on TV; but this is not necessarily so. 

What if space aliens are tiny people or creatures only requiring flying saucers the size of saucers?

What if we've been wasting our time looking up to the sky for big ships when all the time they've already been here in tiny craft the size of a small pizza?

What if they are looking at me right now and ready to beam me up to their spaceship? Having made me tiny first of course!

I read somewhere that a spaceship turned a woman's husband into a duck. When she reported it to the police they suggested duck a l'orange for supper.

I eased myself sideways on the bed and reached for the baseball bat I always carry in my luggage for such eventualities. I'm terrified of UFOs and monsters under the bed. I resolved the latter problem by cutting the legs off my bed.

I swung the bat so hard that it knocked something straight off the sky above me. 

I switched on the light and discovered I had smashed the smoke alarm into the next Galaxy.

NOTE: Why don't they put snooze buttons on smoke alarms?