Do not worry about tomorrow ...

 

Well I guess some of my readers ... I have many you know. Three figures by now according to the statistics. Last count was 10.7 - I wonder who the 0.7 is?

Anyway, as I was saying before I got interrupted by 0.7 of my readers ... ... ... some of my readers will say, "Oh no ... he's going to be preaching about Christianity again! Why can't he tell us something funny instead?" 

I don't apologise for my Christian posts. Maybe someone somewhere might think I'm talking some sense. But if it's funnies people want ... OK ... I'll oblige:

The priest was telling the congregation about the evils of drink. “To drink is to follow Satan. Drink is bad for you. It will lead you to damnation”.

To demonstrate his point he put two glasses on the pulpit. One contained water and one contained whisky. He then produced a small box containing two worms that he had dug from the garden before the service began. He placed a worm in the glass of water and it floated about merrily. He then put the second worm in the glass of whisky and after wriggling for a few seconds it died.

“What does this tell you?” he asked.

A member of the congregation replied, “If you have worms drink whisky”.

*******

A priest is buying a parrot. "Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the priest.

"Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.

"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he says "Halleluiah !!!" and when you pull on the left he shouts "Amen Amen."

"Wonderful!" says the priest, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"

"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.

*******

A very rich woman in hospital in intensive care dies for a few seconds. She sees herself leave her body in a near death experience and meets God in Heaven. “Is that it?” she asks Him, “Am I dead?”

“No,” says God, “you will live for many more years yet!”

She recovers in hospital and is well again. She is so cheerful that she decides to improve herself. She gets plastic surgery done on her face and other parts of her body, gets her hair re-styled and dyed a different colour, gets a new set of stylish clothes and looks terrific once again.

A few days later she is hit by a bus and killed instantly.

When she meets God she complains, “I thought you said I’ll live for many years yet!”

He replies, “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you after the make-over!”

*******

And now for the serious bit. How often do we spend time worrying about this and that and getting anxious over nothing? Anxiety can come from nowhere. A quick thought is planted in our minds and it grows and grows as we ponder what may happen and whether we will be able to cope. We worry about ourselves, our loved ones, the future, our finances, the state of the world, and the price of fish even.

And where is God in all this? He is pushed to the side-lines, because the more we worry the more we distance ourselves from Him. Somehow He seems irrelevant to our worries. How do you think He feels about this? Being ignored ... once again ... whilst we focus on our problems and how to solve them. Or how to let them overwhelm us into oblivion.

Let's consider this: “Every test that you have experienced is the kind that normally comes to people. But God keeps His promise, and He will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to the test, He will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out”. (1 Corinthians Chapter 10 Verse 13).

The way I see it, (and I may be wrong),  God is not in the business of losing His followers. He knows you love Him and try your best to live according to His teachings. He knows you are weak. We all are. He knows we often let anxiety take over our lives. He understands.

When this happens, when anxiety overwhelms us, let us turn to God in prayer. In confidence. In humility. In faith and in full trust. And love.

He will not allow us to be pushed beyond our endurance.

What kind of business is God in?

Let's imagine a shopkeeper or a tradesman; and every time he is approached by a customer or a client he does not serve them, he ignores them and drives them away.

How long do you think this person will remain in business? Pretty soon word would spread round about his attitude and very few people, if any, would bother to go to him for his merchandise.

Let's now consider a different situation. We pray to God for help, for advice, or for some worry or trouble on our mind. We pray and pray and ... nothing. No response. Nil. Our situation, or whatever we are praying for, is still the same if not worse.

We get discouraged, we doubt, and in some cases some of us probably cease to believe altogether.

It is easy of course to sing God's praises and wave our hands in the air saying Hallelluya or whatever when things are going well in our lives. Or type fancy slogans on our Blogs or social media urging others to type Amen if they agree.

But what happens when things go wrong, really wrong. And we pray and pray and don't seem to get an answer.

Is it OK then to get a little angry and impatient with our God and tell Him honestly what's on our mind?

I think Yes. It is OK to let God know our real feelings. He can take our anger. After all, He did take our anger when hanging there on the Cross. At least we're being honest with Him and our feelings.

But let's consider this further. Getting angry with God and turning our backs on Him is hardly going to work in the long run is it? He is hardly going to be frightened into submission and give us what we pray for. All that throwing our toys out of the pram will achieve is make the devil laugh in anticipation.

Let's ask the question: What kind of business is God in?

He is hardly in the business of losing His followers; His customers or clients if we consider the scenario of the shopkeeper.

God sometimes does not respond to our prayers quickly enough or as we wished because He knows our circumstances better than we know them ourselves. And sometimes what we ask for is not right for us, or those around us, or those for whom we are praying right now.

In His own time, and in His own way, He will respond according to His will.

Our best action when things go wrong in our lives is to continue to pray and to praise Him. Yes, praise Him. Through gritted teeth even.

We are not praising God because things have gone wrong, but because He is still in control and in charge of what is happening. We acknowledge His supreme will above ours.

By praising Him we somehow help open a channel with our Creator to come to our aid.

And the harder we pray, however difficult it is, the more our Faith grows and is strengthened. Because it proves we believe there's Someone out there listening. 


“Every test that you have experienced is the kind that normally comes to people. But God keeps His promise, and He will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to the test, He will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out”. 1 Corinthians 10:13.

Understanding Paul's letter to the Corinthians

I entered the house after delivering another load of tents to the local Outdoor Pursuits Shop.

Paul was sitting at the table writing on another pile of parchment papers.

“Hello” I said, “would you like a hot drink?”

“What have you to offer?” he asked without looking up.

“Hot boiled fish water sweetened with honey …” I replied casually.

“The same old brew …” he mumbled in disgust, “when will someone discover coffee, or tea or hot chocolate drink?”

“There’s also hot milk and honey from the Promised Land!” I said encouragingly; but he did not answer.

I asked him what he was writing.

“It’s a letter to the people of Corinth …” he said, “I have to finish it today and send it before postage costs go up yet again …

“They’ve asked me for advice on how to live … just basic advice. I mean … can’t these people think for themselves. Here, have a read” he continued, as he passed me some bits of parchment which smelled like old goat skins.

I read … “Chapter 7 - Verse 1”

For some reason Paul always wrote his letters by numbering every chapter and every verse. I don’t know why he did that. Must be some affectation of some kind I suppose. He wrote:

“A man does well not to marry.”

“Hein?” I thought, “what’s he on about?” I kept on reading what seemed to be rather personal advice to these Corinthian people; albeit good advice I must say, and then again, at Verse 7 he wrote:

“Actually, I would prefer if all of you were single as I am …You single people and widows, it is better if you continue to live alone; just as I do …”

I stopped and looked at him writing there. I wondered why he’d never got married. Perhaps having met my mother-in-law he got frightened out of matrimony altogether.

But his advice made no sense. How can he possibly say a man should not marry, and in fact he’d prefer all of them to remain single and live alone?

I asked him “How would people multiply if they followed your advice?”

“What’s Mathematics to do with it?” he replied without looking up, “they can learn their multiplication tables like every one else!”

“No …” I said hesitantly, “I mean … you know … doing it … having babies …”

“Oh … I gave them a let out clause in Verse 9” Paul continued nonchalantly, “I told them if they can’t control themselves they’d better get married anyway.

“I really can’t understand those people … why can’t they distract themselves by playing card games, or Monopoly or similar board games. The shops are full of them!”

I kept on reading and I must admit I got a bit embarrassed at the personal advice which followed. He meant well, I suppose, and maybe those Corinthians were a little slow on the up-take and needed very detailed advice on how to live as early Christians.

Then at Verse 26 he repeated his opinions again.

“If a man is unmarried he should stay this way. If he is married he should not get rid of his wife!”

“Charming” I thought, “no doubt he’s considered the costs of divorce and alimony when giving this advice.

But then his letter continued:

“Are you unmarried? Then don't look for a wife ... I would rather spare you the everyday troubles that married people will have.”

Well, my mother-in-law certainly has had an influence on him; I thought.

I got out of the house somewhat more confused than those Corinthians will be when they receive this letter.

I was met by my wife and mother-in-law coming home from a shopping trip. Before I had time to welcome them mom-in-law said:

“What are you doing lazing in the sun? Have you no work to do?”