Thursday 24 June 2021

Do not worry about tomorrow ...

 

Well I guess some of my readers ... I have many you know. Three figures by now according to the statistics. Last count was 10.7 - I wonder who the 0.7 is?

Anyway, as I was saying before I got interrupted by 0.7 of my readers ... ... ... some of my readers will say, "Oh no ... he's going to be preaching about Christianity again! Why can't he tell us something funny instead?" 

I don't apologise for my Christian posts. Maybe someone somewhere might think I'm talking some sense. But if it's funnies people want ... OK ... I'll oblige:

The priest was telling the congregation about the evils of drink. “To drink is to follow Satan. Drink is bad for you. It will lead you to damnation”.

To demonstrate his point he put two glasses on the pulpit. One contained water and one contained whisky. He then produced a small box containing two worms that he had dug from the garden before the service began. He placed a worm in the glass of water and it floated about merrily. He then put the second worm in the glass of whisky and after wriggling for a few seconds it died.

“What does this tell you?” he asked.

A member of the congregation replied, “If you have worms drink whisky”.

*******

A priest is buying a parrot. "Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the priest.

"Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.

"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he
says "Halleluiah !!!" and when you pull on the left he shouts "Amen Amen."

"Wonderful!" says the priest, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"

"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.

*******

A very rich woman in hospital in intensive care dies for a few seconds. She sees herself leave her body in a near death experience and meets God in Heaven. “Is that it?” she asks Him, “Am I dead?”

“No,” says God, “you will live for many more years yet!”

She recovers in hospital and is well again. She is so cheerful that she decides to improve herself. She gets plastic surgery done on her face and other parts of her body, gets her hair re-styled and dyed a different colour, gets a new set of stylish clothes and looks terrific once again.

A few days later she is hit by a bus and killed instantly.

When she meets God she complains, “I thought you said I’ll live for many years yet!”

He replies, “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you after the make-over!”

*******

And now for the serious bit. How often do we spend time worrying about this and that and getting anxious over nothing? Anxiety can come from nowhere. A quick thought is planted in our minds and it grows and grows as we ponder what may happen and whether we will be able to cope. We worry about ourselves, our loved ones, the future, our finances, the state of the world, and the price of fish even.

And where is God in all this? He is pushed to the side-lines, because the more we worry the more we distance ourselves from Him. Somehow He seems irrelevant to our worries. How do you think He feels about this? Being ignored ... once again ... whilst we focus on our problems and how to solve them. Or how to let them overwhelm us into oblivion.

Let's consider this: “Every test that you have experienced is the kind that normally comes to people. But God keeps His promise, and He will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to the test, He will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out”. (1 Corinthians Chapter 10 Verse 13).

The way I see it, (and I may be wrong),  God is not in the business of losing His followers. He knows you love Him and try your best to live according to His teachings. He knows you are weak. We all are. He knows we often let anxiety take over our lives. He understands.

When this happens, when anxiety overwhelms us, let us turn to God in prayer. In confidence. In humility. In faith and in full trust. And love.

He will not allow us to be pushed beyond our endurance.

23 comments:

  1. ...God may not be in the business of losing followers, but many are lost.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps because they want to be lost !!!

      God bless, Tom.

      Delete
  2. Why is it so easy to think I'm in charge and get anxious over what could happen, but so hard to relax and let God be in charge?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because it is in our human nature to be in control rather than submit to God's will. We pray "Thy will be done" but we don't always mean it.

      God bless, Kathy.

      Delete
  3. Love that parrot!
    How come you always seem to know when I need to hear a certain message? Thank you, Victor!

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    Replies
    1. We all go through periods of anxiety and worries, Mevely. The thing is, to continue to trust in God. Through gritted teeth, even. God knows, I have bothered Him often enough!

      Praying for you. God bless.

      Delete
  4. Dearest Victor,
    Indeed, compared to our Creator, our human worries are such microscopic insignificant things in Time.
    But for many it takes quite some time for figuring this out.
    Hugs,
    Mariette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Mariette, our worries are very small compared to God's power, love and mercy.

      God bless you always.

      Delete
  5. When I worry about something, I often think, God wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle. I don't always think that right away but eventually it does comes to mind.

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    Replies
    1. What a refreshing way to think things through, Bill. Thank you. I needed that.

      God bless you, my friend.

      Delete
  6. Your jokes were all so hilarious, Victor - loved them!
    And yes, when I worry, my first reaction is to pray for God to help me through. Works every time!
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I understand what you say, Martha. It's just that sometimes we do not see Him working through our anxieties and problems.

      God bless always.

      Delete
  7. Funny Jokes!! :)
    I try not to waste time worrying - it never does any good and keeps you from enjoying the NOW.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed the jokes. Sometimes worries come our way and we cannot avoid them.

      God bless, Happyone.

      Delete
  8. Thanks for the smiles. They are welcome anytime. We enjoy your wit, and of course your wisdom. I find myself agreeing with you the majority of the time.
    Sherry & jack, finding loose ends to tie up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Jack and Sherry. I am so glad you enjoy visiting here and like my humour and other posts. I welcome and value your friendship.

      God bless always my friends.

      Delete
  9. I had a good moment of hilarity as I read your jokes. The only thing worry can do is cause us to be overwrought, but; when we return it over to God, we are gifted with His peace during the storm. Thanks, Victor. Blessings.

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    Replies
    1. Hilarity is good. It keeps me going when times are bad. I'm so pleased I made you smile, Nells. Indeed, we should hand over our worries to God in trust.

      God bless you and yours.

      Delete
  10. He is faithful, no matter what, and when we turn back to Him, He's there waiting.

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  11. I don't ignore him, I just don't bother him because I know he is busy with everyone else and I'm okay anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let us thank God for His love and mercy.

      God bless, River.

      Delete

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