Torn ... between two lovers

My life is full of dilemmas and decisions these days. I am getting all confused.

The other day I got thrown out of the supermarket. It was not my fault really. I did nothing wrong. But you be the judge of that and tell me what you think.

As I may have mentioned before, I like peanut butter. I spread it on toast and then carefully place currants or raisins in straight rows like soldiers on parade all over the slice of bread. Cover it with another slice - delicious. You should try it sometimes.

There I was at the supermarket and I could not decide whether to buy crunchy peanut butter or the smooth one. I like both; but always tend to buy the crunchy. I wanted to try smooth for a change. But it was difficult to make a decision. I stood there hesitant. Picking one jar and then the other and then ... out of the blue ...

I started singing that familiar Mary MacGregor song at the top of my voice:

There are times when a man has to say what's on his mind
Even though he knows how much it's gonna hurt
Before I say another word, let me tell you, I love you
Let me hold you close and say these words as gently as I can ...

I love crunchy peanut butter and have done so for a time
But that doesn't mean I love you less

Although the taste is similar and you are both the best

There's this empty place in my tummy that crunchy can only fill ...

Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool

Lovin' both of you is breakin' all the rules
Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' you both is breakin' all the rules ...

At this point the manager and a number of staff gathered around me and told me to stop singing. They said I was disturbing the other customers with my "bellowing" and frightening all the kids. Dogs are howling outside in the car park and all the cats have evacuated the area. Birds are falling off the trees in agony.

As I could not stop my impromptu singing the manager gave me a jar of both kinds of peanut butter and threw me out the store.