Tuesday 3 March 2020

Torn ... between two lovers


My life is full of dilemmas and decisions these days. I am getting all confused.

The other day I got thrown out of the supermarket. It was not my fault really. I did nothing wrong. But you be the judge of that and tell me what you think.

As I may have mentioned before, I like peanut butter. I spread it on toast and then carefully place currants or raisins in straight rows like soldiers on parade all over the slice of bread. Cover it with another slice - delicious. You should try it sometimes.

There I was at the supermarket and I could not decide whether to buy crunchy peanut butter or the smooth one. I like both; but always tend to buy the crunchy. I wanted to try smooth for a change. But it was difficult to make a decision. I stood there hesitant. Picking one jar and then the other and then ... out of the blue ...

I started singing that familiar Mary MacGregor song at the top of my voice:

There are times when a man has to say what's on his mind
Even though he knows how much it's gonna hurt
Before I say another word, let me tell you, I love you
Let me hold you close and say these words as gently as I can ...

I love crunchy peanut butter and have done so for a time
But that doesn't mean I love you less
Although the taste is similar and you are both the best
There's this empty place in my tummy that crunchy can only fill ...

Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' both of you is breakin' all the rules
Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' you both is breakin' all the rules ...

At this point the manager and a number of staff gathered around me and told me to stop singing. They said I was disturbing the other customers with my "bellowing" and frightening all the kids. Dogs are howling outside in the car park and all the cats have evacuated the area. Birds are falling off the trees in agony.

As I could not stop my impromptu singing the manager gave me a jar of both kinds of peanut butter and threw me out the store.

ADDENDUM:

Some of you are too young to remember the song "Torn between two lovers" by Mary MacGregor. It was a favourite of mine at the time for obvious reasons. Here it is:

26 comments:

  1. Aaaaah Victor. Your "humor" knows no bounds. As soon as I saw the title to your post I started singing that song, a song I didn't like and now can't get out of my mind. For the record: I prefer crunchy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, Bill. The sentiments behind the lyrics are questionable. And I too prefer crunchy most of the time.

      God bless you always.

      Delete
  2. I too like crunchy... in regards to your singing, I would have joined in had I known the tune and perhaps offered you a tip for your efforts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Ryan. I appreciate your support. Not many people like my singing. At the church choir they asked me to stand in the back and mime.

      God bless.

      Delete
  3. Now that. Is hilarious! Definitely put a smile and chuckle in my morning! : )

    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's so good to see you smiling Amelia. Please call here often and let us all smile, or chuckle, together.

      God bless you always.

      Delete
  4. Hey, you might have gotten kicked out of the store, Victor, but at least you got two free jars of peanut butter! And yes, I'm old enough to remember that song. :)
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, Martha, and somehow I still prefer crunchy peanut butter.

      God bless you always.

      Delete
  5. I prefer almond butter instead of peanut butter. My wife is a crunchy pb fan.
    I never heard that song or the singer before. Not a bad song though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will try almond butter, never tried it before. Thanx for the suggestion, Bill. I used to play that song on the radio - it's from the 70s.

      God bless, Bill.

      Delete
  6. I like the smooth and eat it often.
    Remember the song well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The smooth spreads better on toasts or muffins. And hot crumpets.

      God bless you Happyone.

      Delete
  7. I, too, remember that song … loved it then, and I'm enjoying this video. Shoot, the least those other shoppers could have done was to gather behind you and harmonize.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The other shoppers probably don't like peanut butter. I sometimes make my own, Mevely, when there isn't any in the house. I use salted peanuts and blend/crush them in the blender with a few drops of olive oil.

      God bless always my friend.

      Delete
  8. Peanut butter on a slice of bread covered with raisins has long been a favorite snack of mine!

    I'm not torn, I always go for crunchy.

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    1. I think I am the same, JoeH. Why don't they just stop making smooth and end all my indecisions. Or perhaps stock the smooth in a different part of the supermarket.

      God bless.

      Delete
  9. Because you use two slices of bread, put creamy on one slice and crunchy on the other, and quit singing or worrying about which to buy. It's okay, i'm not allowed to sing in public, either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great idea, Mimi. Use both types at the same time. You really are brilliant.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  10. Well this is a first in my life...a grown man singing a love song to smooth and crunchy peanut butter. What I must ask you now is...do you carry their photos in your wallet?
    What do you drink with your sandwiches?

    Just wondering 🍹🍸

    God Bless 💮

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No I don't carry their photos in my wallet, but the crunchy is the main image on my cell-phone. I drink Coca Cola or Pepsi Cola. I have difficulty in choosing between them when I'm in the supermarket. The manager warned me I'd be banned for ever if I started singing again.

      God bless you Jan.

      Can you tell the difference between Coca Cola and Pepsi? I can't

      Delete
    2. Gave up drinking pop about 15 years ago. No. I never could taste a noticable difference.
      Now all I drink is coffee, tea, milk or water. I never drank alcohol of any kind. I know "boring!"

      Delete
    3. I like my coffee with a lot of milk; and I agree I can't tell the difference between Colas.

      I would not call you boring. Ever.

      God bless, Jan.

      Delete
  11. I'm not a fan of peanut butter … but I remember that song.

    All the best Jan

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    Replies
    1. Quite an emotional song, isn't it? And she sings it so well.

      God bless you, Jan.

      Delete

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