What a beautiful day is Valentine's Day ... a day to honour our love for each other. To celebrate it. And to renew it even. Especially if the embers of our original love may not be glowing as once they were.
As time goes by our love for one another may well have been tested a few times and perhaps taken a knock or two. Let us take this opportunity on Valentine's Day to renew that love. To re-affirm it. And to re-kindle those embers once again so that they might shine brightly once more.
The secret of a long and happy marriage or partnership is to keep that love which once brought us together alive ... every day ... regardless of what difficulties and problems life throws at us.
Of course, for love to flourish it is important that it is built on sound foundations to start with. The first steps in choosing a partner for life
are the most important ones. Marriage is not to be entered into too lightly and
one must be careful with whom we pledge to spend the rest of our lives – come
sunshine, rain or snow.
It is imperative at the outset to decide who will clear
the path when the snow is six feet deep and blocking your way out.
Love, mutual respect, patience and understanding are
obviously very important in a marriage. But just as essential is the fact that
one of the spouses should be slightly deaf – preferably the husband.
Marriage and love will be tested over the years by many differences of opinions on various matters and subjects. To this end, it is important for the husband to remember that, whatever the situation, he is always wrong. This will save time and effort debating an issue which he is bound to lose anyway.
From the outset, the choice of spouse one takes is vital not only for reasons of
compatibility, shared interests, hopes, values and aspirations but also for the very success of a long lasting union between the two brought together by love.
To this end, the occupation and profession of one’s partner plays a major role in the
longevity and success of this union. In fact it is vital to its success.
Statistics prove beyond doubt that archaeologists make the
best marriage partners. The older you get the more interested they are in you.
It is of course inevitable that in any marriage arguments
will occur sometimes out of the blue and on the most absurd and un-important subjects.
The trick is not so much on how to win an argument; if this was at all
possible for the husband, but to avoid getting into one in the first place.
The trick, or should I say the skill, is not a matter of capitulating early and giving way in the
first instance as soon as an argument commences; but it is more a question of choosing which argument is important enough to defend as a
matter of principle and which is not worth losing privileges for.
The question of principles is worth dwelling on for a moment
or two. Don’t just have one unbreakable principle which you will uphold at the
cost of your marriage, your happiness, and future livelihood. Be generous. Have
plenty of principles; and if one doesn’t work out for you choose another one.
No one who is anyone has ever succeeded by having just one principle.
Try to develop mutual interests with your partner and doing
things together as a couple which both of you can share and enjoy. Like fixing the car, unblocking the drains and such like tasks that you do not want to do on your own.
Remember that
women like to be re-assured frequently that they are loved and cherished. Often the words “I love you” are not heard as regularly after the honeymoon as they were before; or are used
as a pretext to wanting something, like watching the football on TV.
In order to reinforce our commitment to love it is suggested that the husband writes down the words “I
love you” on a piece of paper so that the wife can refer to it as often as needed in
future.
Laminating the piece of paper will ensure its durability, especially if
it is the size of a credit card so it can be easily carried in one’s purse or
handbag. Drawing a heart, or a flower, (before laminating), will also ensure a
successful purpose.
As the couple grow older together they will discover that romance and intimacy is not as it once was. It is important not to let this obscure or hinder the affection and caring that the couple have for each other. Especially when the husband gently approaches his wife lying on her back in bed, and at the most personal moment she softly whispers to him, "the ceiling needs painting again!"
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