Patient: Just like Superman? Can't see through lead?
Radiologist: Something like that ... oh ... I notice you have ear-rings. Can you take them off please and place them in the tray.
Patient: They are silver!
Radiologist: Still metal ... don't worry; I won't steal them. Oh ... you've also got a stud on your eyebrow. Please take this off too. And all other rings and studs and so on.
Patient: I'll try. It's a bit difficult ...
Radiologist:Take off your top, and any vest you're wearing. Any more piercings I need to know about?
Patient: Ehm ... my nipples. I have studs through my nipples too.
Radiologist: I see ... Are they difficult to remove?
Patient: I'll try ... they've been there for a while. Sorry ...
Radiologist: No need to apologise. I am not judging ... just that any metal objects interfere with the X Ray and should be removed.
Patient: It will be difficult removing the ring on my navel. The tattooist told me it's an expert job.
Radiologist: On your navel? I understand ... I'll need to call a specialist nurse to remove this for you. Anything else I need to know about?
Patient: There's a stud on my tongue and cheeks, as well as the rings you can see through my nose.
Radiologist: I noticed them. The specialist nurse will deal with those too.
Patient: Also ... also ... I have a couple of studs and a ring somewhere else ...
Radiologist: You mean ...
Patient: Yes ... in my private parts ...
Radiologist: Must have been painful ... and inconvenient ...
Patient: It was at first, but it's good fun. It allows me to express myself ... it's me being me ... isn't it?
Radiologist: I understand ... The thing is all that metal in the studs and rings are an obstruction to the X Ray waves ... you know how an antenna gets sound waves coming through to a TV or radio aerial; all this metal you are wearing acts in reverse and interferes with the X Rays.
Patient: Actually, it does act like a short-wave radio aerial! Sometimes I can hear music.
Radiologist: What? Heavy Metal music is it?
Patient: It's true ... I think all my jewellery and studs and rings act like a radio aerial. Sometimes, in the shower I hear music.
Radiologist: All right ... I understand ... take your clothes off and let's listen to some Black Sabbath music whilst waiting for the specialist nurse to arrive.
