I've been having this recurring dream that I am chased by a big cheese. More often than not it is one of those round cheeses that you cut into wedges. Sometimes it is a French Roquefort, or and Italian Gorgonzola, a Dutch Edam cheese with the red wax around it or even at times a good old English Stilton.
Usually it is the same dream. I am in bed asleep. I hear a big rumble outside, a big roll of cheese comes up the stairs.
I run out of the house wrapped in the bed sheet like a Roman toga.
The sheet is like a Roman toga, not me. Please pay attention.
The type of cheese chasing me is different. I can't explain how I know. It's not as if the cheese is talking in French "Zut alors! Dépêchez-vous!" Or in any other language for that matter. The cheese is always silent but I hear it rumbling as it rolls behind me.
The cheese rolls after me the faster I run. It never seems to catch up with me and then I find I am on a beach somewhere and there's this young lady in a bikini sunbathing. She distracts me for a while.
I am oblivious, not the girl! The girl is Olivia. Are you paying attention or what?
Anyway, I start running again and I am in a castle somewhere. I slam the door shut and I press hard on a button on the wall. Suddenly, a panel in the wall opens and I enter it and I am in an open-air restaurant. Al Fresco ... that's the name of the owner; not the fact that the restaurant is open-air.
So I sit at a table on the side walk like they do in some restaurants in Europe.
I ask for some cheese and biscuits. They say, "No cheese ... No cheese ... Just soup!"
They bring more soup. More rain. More soup. More rain.
I need to go to the bathroom. I wake up!
