Every now and then there is a horror movie on TV. For some reason they put them on very late at night to scare the viewers into a sleepless night. They all seem to follow the same pattern. So I thought, why don't you and me get together and make our own horror movie. Not for real, but in our heads. Let our imaginations run wild and together we could make a major blockbuster that would win all the Oscars and other awards going.
Let us start with an old rickety very large house in a remote out of the way place that no one ever dares to go to. No supermarkets, discos or restaurants anywhere in the vicinity. There's no vicinity either. This place is so remote and out in the wildest wild that it seems to have a suicide pact with the devil himself.
It is night, there's a full moon, and a cold whistling wind blowing through the leafless trees creating haunting shadows all over the nearby graveyard. There are bats flying in and out of the broken attic window of the old house that no self-respecting realtor estate agent would even bother to put on the market.
Are you scared yet? I am in my head ... and the story hasn't begun yet.
As you enter the house there's a haunting music like you often hear in horror films. The camera pans round the entrance hall displaying antique furniture and various ancient portraits paintings on the walls. The camera then moves up the stairs to the floor above. A door is seen opening slowly with a creaking ominous sound as it is blown gently by the wind entering through a broken window. The window shutters are flapping in the wind blowing the floating curtains like threatening ghosts seeking revenge and retribution. A large spider is seen scurrying up the wall and hiding in a large web in the corner of the ceiling.
The camera enters the room. It is a bedroom with an old fashioned four-poster bed covered in nettings like shrouds surrounding a corpse.
A woman is seen lying on the bed. She is startled by the sound of the window shutters and the howling wind. She gets up and is seen to be wearing the flimsiest of transparent nightdresses you can imagine.
Why is it in horror movies women are always young, beautiful, vulnerable and no matter how cold it is, and no matter how windy it is, blowing a hurricane gale force out there, they are always wearing tiny, see-through nightdresses?
This woman gets up from her bed all scared and frightened and she rushes down the stairs. The music becomes more intense.
No one seems to ask why is there a woman living alone in this broken down house in the middle of nowhere. But it all adds to the horror and fear doesn't it?
As she gets down the stairs the young woman hears a sound from the cellar. It is a howling sound which makes one's blood curdle and a frisson run up and down one's spine at the same time.
What could there be down there? A wolf? A ghost? Or a hoard of zombies intent on striking fear on the most courageous of viewers watching this movie so late at night.
The cellar door is seen being forced from within. Whoever is down there is determined to come out and wreak death and destruction. The woman stares at the cellar door. First she is afraid, then she's petrified. All alone with no one by her side!
This is the bit where your imagination comes in. You can help with creating more suspense and horror to the story so far.
Does the woman run outside in order to escape the impending doom and a horrific ending?
Does she open the cellar door to see what is there in case it is a lovely little puppy waggling its tail and wanting to be her friend?
Or does she go in the kitchen and have a tub of ice cream?
What do you think?
What would add more tension and suspense and broken suspenders even to this frightening horror movie to end all frightening horror movies?
Personally, I vote for having the ice cream.
There is nothing more horrific and blood curdling than going to the freezer and finding that the ice cream tub is empty and no one has bothered to buy another one. Or worse still, opening the tub and finding the tiniest minutest bit of ice cream there that would not fill even half a tea spoon.
Why do people do that? Why not finish the whole damned tub?
Why keep such a tiny bit back in the fridge to entice you to go there full of expectation only to find there's nothing inside?
Who are these evil sadistic monsters who would do such a thing?
Why put an empty container back in the fridge?
That is the most cruel and evil horrific act that you can imagine in any horror movie ever made.
An empty tub of ice cream. A great title for a horror movie.
THE EMPTY TUB OF ICE CREAM
I'll stop here and challenge you to think of a more horrific scenario for this film.