I go to their website and discover that the only two ways to communicate with them is by phoning them, and waiting for three lifetimes before some idiot deems to reply, or via on-line chat. There is not option of sending them an e-mail. I could write by snail mail but by the time my letter reaches them they would probably be out of business because of their poor customer care. Good job too!
I do not want to chat. On-line or otherwise. I want to express my problem and hopefully get you to solve it, you faceless corporation intent on just making profits and raising my blood pressure.
Here's a record of a recent chat:
- Hello, my name is Elenora. Please type your username.
- Irate Troll.
- Please type the first letter of you password.
- X
- Please type the last letter of your password.
- X
- That's two Xs
- Yes my password is Xylophonemix.
- You should not have said that.
- What?
- Xylophonemix.
- Why not?
- Because now I know you password.
- Of course you do. It is on your computer for you to check I typed the correct first and last letter.
- You will have to change it.
- What?
- Your password.
- Now?
- No ... not now.
- If not now, when?
- After we have finished this chat. How may I help you?
- For a start by not having a chat. If I want a chat I can talk to my cat. His name is Julien Antoine. He is a French cat - or chat!
- How may I help you?
- The cellphone I bought from you is not working properly.
- Have you checked it is the cellphone which is faulty and not your telephone line service provider?
- How do I know? When I try to phone someone it is always engaged.
- Let me check for you. Please wait a moment.
(A million moments later, plus another two million moments more ...)
- Hello ... are you still there?
- Yes I am still here. I was checking with our technical department.
- Sorry. I thought it was dead.
- I am very much alive, Sir.
- I meant I thought the line was dead. Not you. I said "IT"
- There appears to be a problem with the line. We will e-mail you shortly. Is there anything else I can help you with?
- Yes. Why can I not e-mail your company rather than this online chat?
- It is more convenient for our customers and more efficient for us this way.
- It is neither convenient nor efficient. I have wasted half-an-hour chatting with you about everything except the weather and you still have not solved my problem. It would have been quicker if I e-mailed you and then you can check with technical department to your heart's content and reply when you have solved the problem.
- Is there anything else I can help you with, Sir?
- No!
- Thank you for your call.
- Thanx.
- Would you please complete a customer satisfaction survey of your experience with us?
