Thursday 30 August 2018

Exotic Restaurant

Terrible ... terrible I tell you ... terrible is the word for it. There's no other word to describe it.

The other day I went with friends to an exotic restaurant where they serve what they call "exotic meats". Crocodile, kangaroo, wild buffalo and hog, ostrich, that sort of thing. Not my sort of cuisine personally. I decided to have a stew made with beef meat.

After I finished eating it I discovered when we received the bill that, due to a mistake in the kitchen, I had been served the more expensive stew made with parrots.

Parrots I said. Parrots !!!

I was livid. I was livid, I tell you. Livid is the word for it.

Can you imagine? An extra £37 because the stew contained parrot instead of beef? £37 !!! £37 is no mean amount. Livid I tell you. £37 indeed!

Since then, I have also noticed a tendency to repeat myself. It's like the French deja vu but verbally. Verbally. I seem to say the same thing again and again and again ... ... ... again ... once more ... again!

Sometimes when I burp I spit out multi-coloured feathers.

I've even started preening myself, would you believe? I raise my arms and try to clean myself like a bird.

Also, whenever I see myself in a mirror I say, "Who's a pretty boy then?"

This is all very terrible. Terrible I say. Livid. Livid, that's what I am. Terribly livid. Lividly terrible. 

18 comments:

  1. If I give you a cracker will you feel better and please come down from the top of that tree!!!
    Look on the bright side...you now have all of those beautifully colored quills for writing these great stories!!!

    Blessings

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really don't understand those exotic restaurants, Jan. We now have a supermarket selling kangaroo meat. Some people are farming ostriches for their meat. A farmer friend of mine has cross-bread chickens so that he can now breed chickens with four or six legs, so he can sell more meat. They run so fast he cannot catch them though.

      God bless.

      Delete
  2. But are you craving bird seed now instead of meat?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, now you mention it, yes. I have been eating sesame seeds lately as well as sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds. And yes, I seem to have gone off meat for while. Fish is still OK. Do you think this is permanent? My hair has turned red, yellow and blue as is Mohigan styled. All hair has fallen off at the side except for a strip of hair along the centre of my head from the forehead to the back of the neck. It's multi-coloured.

      God bless.

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. "Who's a pretty boy then? Victor is. Victor is."

      God bless you, Chris.

      Delete
  4. Does Victor want a cracker? LOL! I don't know how you come up with these crazy stories, but they sure are entertaining.
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's good to entertain people, Martha. It makes me happy. And I hope it makes others happy too. Although it irritated people at work. They took work too seriously. All they talked about is targets and profitability. Where's the fun in that?

      God bless.

      Delete
  5. Oh my! Thanks for the giggles!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Giggles are great, Terri. Giggles are great. I must stop repeating myself.

      God bless.

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Tasted like chicken. But then, everything tastes like chicken. Even chicken.

      God bless you, Christine.

      Delete
  7. Victor wants a cracker, does Victor want a cracker? You make me laugh. :) Thank God for humour, it makes the world a little bit more cheerful. Thanks, Victor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll tell you a story, Bill. Years ago we had two parrots. Identical. Like the photo up top. Dad was told that if he sneaked up at night and checked who was doing what to whom, then that would be the male. He could then place a white collar round his neck to distinguish him from the female. So dad did just that and placed a collar on the male.

      Weeks later the priest visited us and the male parrot shouted, "So they caught you at it too?"

      God bless.

      Delete
  8. Ugh! I wonder what they would have done, had you begun grasping your throat and announced you were allergic to parrot meat?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly, Mevely. I was given parrot meat by mistake. They should have paid me compensation.

      God bless.

      Delete
  9. I think I'll stay with chicken or beef. No exotic foods for me.
    Thanks for the laugh once again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed Happyone. Give me a KFC any time.

      God bless.

      Delete

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