Diary Entry

Dear Diary,

Haven't written here for a while. How have you been? Gathering dust as usual?

So, what's been happening lately? Oh yes ... we got a new pet Guinea pig, or is it a hamster? Can't tell the difference. We named him Dopey after one of the seven dwarves, although I can't remember which one.
 
Anyway, I met Fred the other day. I was out walking the ferret when there he was; Fred, not the ferret. We stopped and talked in the street.

In discussion we talked about re-incarnation. I told him that knowing his luck he'd come back as himself! What a disappointment that would be.

He said he didn't believe in re-incarnation. His view of life is that we are born, we live, we die, we get buried and feed the plants as we disintegrate into the soil. I suppose it is re-incarnation of sorts, coming back as a sack of potatoes or carrots.

"What would you like to be re-incarnated as?" Fred asked me.

"Certainly not as a tin of condensed milk!" I retorted sarcastically. "Do you remember? It was made from contented cows. I wonder what they were contented about?"

He then said that some people can in fact contact those who are gone to the other side.

I said, "What? The other side of the street?"

"No," he replied, "the other side ... when we are dead. Some people believe you can contact the dead. There's this Madame Ratatouille, she lives just up the street, she is a clairvoyant ..."

"What's that?"

"You know, she can see the future ... The other day, she held a seance in the town hall to tell people their future. She arrived a little late due to unforeseen circumstances apparently."

"A seance?" I asked.

"Yes ... she is a medium, you know!"

"I always thought she was extra large actually. She must have gone on a diet since I last saw her!"

"Anyway," Fred continued, "Madame Ratatouille contacted Horace Smallpiece. You remember him? He died some six months ago and no one told him. Apparently, now he is gone he is enjoying himself making love to all the females around him."

"Where? In the after-life?" I asked.

"No, no ..." said Fred, "apparently he's re-incarnated into a rabbit in a field somewhere. He is the only male amongst a lot of women who also re-incarnated into rabbits. They're having quite a good time I believe."