Un-accustomed as I am ...

My boss was invited to make an after-dinner speech at a salesmen conference. He was told not to make it about work, or business, but a light-hearted talk for successful salesmen being rewarded for exceeding their targets and doing well in making profits. It should be a short funny speech to lighten the mood a little.

He did not want to do it, not knowing what to talk about. He is, after all, a serious businessman, not a comic. His colleagues encouraged him to go on. They told him to tell a few jokes about sex. That always goes down well at parties and such gatherings. They even offered to write the speech for him.

On the evening in question, he delivered the speech as he was taught by his colleagues. When he went home, his wife asked him what he spoke about. He mumbled, "Oh ... nothing much ... boating and sailing ... that sort of thing!"

A few days later I met his wife at the supermarket. In order to make conversation I said that his speech was well received the other night.

She said, "That's strange, considering he only tried it twice. The first time he was sea-sick and the second time his hat blew off!"