Things That Wind Us Up

Right folks, this is your chance and mine to vent on all the things that wind you up, make you angry, disappointed and upset, or, in my case, makes me want to bite hard on the leg of our dinner table.

Feel free to tell us in the comments box below all the annoying, stupid, frustrating, irritating things in life that make you wonder what this world is coming too. It could be big things, small things, whatever. It could be world events or even things that happen locally, in your town, your street, or even your home.

For example the ever lasting argument about whether the toilet seat should be up or down. I don't understand that. In our house, I have sawn the seat in half at the front bit; so now we have half the seat up and the other half down. Simple.

But I tell you what winds me up. All those TV cooking programs with half-wits showing you how easy it is for you to cook the most elaborate dishes instead of sitting there in front of the TV with a pizza in one hand and a pint of Guinness (or other drink) in the other.

The ingredients for a start: I was sitting there the other day watching this pretend chef cooking a Lobster Thermidor and I thought, "Damn ... where have I put my thermidor? I have a whole lake out there full of lobsters but no thermidors!"

Why is it these well-paid Z rated big-headed personalities assume that we all have a full cupboard of saffron, or caviar, or dried seaweeds in our larder ready for their half-witted culinary creations which would make a dog vomit?

And another thing ... they make it look all so easy and you're somehow inadequate if you can't do as they do. What you don't see on TV is the army of helpers they have behind the cameras who clean and peel and prepare the vegetables; who cut and dice it ready for them to pour in the pan; who clean and wash the pots and pans and cutlery, and who do all the things you have to do at home before you even start to spell the word thermidor.

The other day the so-called chef was showing us how to make a cake with an ice-cream filling. Not just cream; but ice cream. Having made the cake he said it needs to "rest" for 10 minutes in the freezer. He opened the freezer to show us how ... just in case we're stupid and we might put the cake in the trash bin where it belongs. Guess what? The freezer was empty with plenty of space for him to put his cake. Yeah ... right, try putting the cake in my freezer next to the packets of peas and other vegetables, meat joint, fish sticks, shoes, reading spectacles and that car-tire iron I've been looking for for a month!

It is also particularly annoying when these cooks have celebrities on their programs Oohing and Aaaahing at everything they do, like breaking an egg into a bowl as if they're gold medal athletes who have just broken another world record.

Then the idiot-faced has-been celebrities are given a sample to taste and comment on. Well, what do you expect? At the end of a half-hour, or hour program, when the chef has worked hard to come up with one of his famous creation, the guest celebrity is hardly going to spit the food out and say it tastes like a crocodile's testicles, is he?

OK ... let me now calm down and sip a few drops of Guinness. I'm sure there are other things that wind me up and annoy me to extremes.

Experts for instance. No matter what happens in this world; be it political, environmental, medical, agricultural, or relating to the nether regions of one's body, there is always an expert on TV to tell you all about it. Where do these experts all come from, and why don't they go back to hell where they belong? No wonder the world is in such a mess with all these experts contradicting each other and raising my blood pressure.

Oh ... and politicians ... don't get me started about politicians. So I'll end here.

How about you? What does wind you up and makes you really angry? Is it something that happens at home, like your partner snoring, or vacuum cleaning whilst the sports is on TV, or any other habits or mannerisms? Or it could be something else outside the home, like family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues at work or even the priest in church.

My priest makes me go to sleep with his long boring sermons; and then I get a sharp elbow in the side to wake me up. I can hardly tell him that at Confession can I?

Tell us your pet-hates and anger makers in your life!