GOD to ST. FRANCIS:
Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colours by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.
ST. FRANCIS:
It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
GOD:
Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colourful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn
GOD:
The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.
GOD:
They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
ST. FRANCIS:
Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD:
They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
ST. FRANCIS:
No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD:
Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS:
Yes, Sir.
GOD:
These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS:
You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD:
What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.
ST. FRANCIS:
You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
GOD:
No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS:
After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
GOD:
And where do they get this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS:
They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD:
Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
ST. CATHERINE:
'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about....
GOD:
Never
mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis…
...how true.
ReplyDeleteModern madness.
DeleteGod bless, Tom.
👍🏼
ReplyDeleteThank you R.
DeleteGod bless.
This is one reason I'm glad that our yard is all moss and forest, Victor. No mowing here! By the way, this piece is extremely clever and I really enjoyed the conversation between God and St. Francis. Priceless!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
We have an area at the end of the garden where we spread grass cuttings and rotting leaves. It attracts insects and birds which feed on them. Also hedgehogs.
DeleteGod bless, Martha.
I love it. Your imagination has no limits. THANKS.
ReplyDeleteWE are sorta crazy, ain't we?
Love from over here where everyone is about as crazy!
Try to be better....
Sherry & jack
Thank you Jack. I'm glad you enjoyed our modern logic of growing grass only to cut it again. Life is crazy.
DeleteWe even have people here with hanging baskets of flowers and plants in front of their house. The flowers and plants are made of plastic so they don't bother to water them.
God bless you and Sherry.
We are a strange people sometimes. This story reminds me of making tea. We heat it up and then add ice to cool it. We add sugar to make it sweet then we add lemon to make it bitter. Crazy stuff for sure. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteAh yes ... but it tastes nice though, Nells. I like iced tea. We have granules here which we mix with cold/hot water to make lemon tea.
DeleteGod bless you.
Hey Victor. We humans are an interesting bunch, aren't we and we really think that we know everything. After reading this, we look stupid. :)
ReplyDeleteIt is crazy what we do in our gardens. Making a compost heap is a better way to recycle hedge cuttings.
DeleteGod bless, Bill.
I've never been a fan of grass and we have had our problems living in a development. LOVE living here in the woods! No grass, plenty of trees, and we leave the leaves where they fall.
ReplyDeleteDid you know leaves are taken up by worms at night? They come out of the ground and slowly pull the leaves into the ground where they decompose and get eaten. I once noticed a leaf being pulled into the ground. I tried to pull it back. The worm got re-inforcement and they nearly pulled me underground.
DeleteGod bless, Happyone.
I read a similar story years ago. It resonated with me both then and now.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is mad what we do, isn't it?
DeleteGod bless, Kathy.
Perspective! I do prefer wildflowers (and weeds) to much of what is being peddled in high-price florist shops. I mean, who ever heard of making a wish and blowing on a dried rose petal.
ReplyDeleteWildflowers tend to attract certain insects and birds; just like nature intended. Some gardens are too neat and tidy, which is harmful to certain creatures looking for natural shelter and food.
DeleteGod bless, Mevely.
If the neighbors wouldn't complain, i would not have lawn, just the wildflowers. We don't bag the lawn clippings, just leave them to dry right where they are. They are gone in a day or two.
ReplyDeleteLawn clippings are good for making compost too. We collect them and leave them to rot at the end of the garden.
DeleteGod bless, Mimi.
I've heard this before and it is just as true as ever. I remember when I had a yard though, any leaves that fell on the grass were chopped up by the lawnmower and just left to break down and feed the soil under the lawn. It wasn't the prettiest lawn in the street but we didn't care about that. I'm not a fan of weeds though, they'll spread and take over so fast all you get is a yard of dandelions and/or prickles so you can't run around with bare feet. A cottage garden filled with mixed flowering plants is better although there aren't many of those around anymore.
ReplyDeleteBroken down leaves do help feed the soil and insects underground. Gardens can require a lot of work but it's nice when they attract various creatures like hedgehogs.
DeleteGod bless you, River.
Dearest Victor,
ReplyDeleteThere is very GOOD reason in it for NOT raking the grass off. At least we never have done so. We mulch it so it falls back on the lawn and become nutrients that can be absorbed.
Both of us never ever understood WHY people rake up leaves to haul them off. That indeed is the dumbest thing one can do. It is a natural thing of recycling and again using all nutrients left in it. Also it is a cover blanker for tender spring bulbs and other plants that stay dormant during winter, for keeping them moist and alive...
Feeling good that at least we're NOT guilty of those two counts.
Hugs,
Mariette
You are right, Mariette. Those activities are counter-productive.
DeleteGod bless always.
💞
Delete