The Lion

 

I was walking in the park and I saw a lion. He ran in front of me. From the left to the right. Got out of one bush and ran right across into another.

I had to inform somebody. I ran to the nearest public phone box and searched the telephone directory. I could not find the Missing Lions Bureau; in case someone had lost a lion. I phoned the first official looking phone number.

Within minutes a car drew up and out came two men in uniform. One was tall and thin, the other one short and rotund. I could not tell who was who because they kept moving around.

They did not believe my story. They said I saw a big dog. I assured them it was a lion. I can tell the difference between a lion and a dog - it is spelt differently.  

They took no chances. They alerted someone else. Within minutes they sealed off the area and started searching the park; assuming the lion was still there and had not moved to a nearby fast food outlet or restaurant for a meal.

There were men in different uniforms everywhere. Some were carrying big butterfly nets. Others were on horses with lassos. Others had tranquilliser darts and other lion capturing instruments. A man was selling mouse traps. The mice were so scared they threw themselves on the traps.

There were helicopters flying overhead searching in case the lion took to the air. They had road blocks everywhere and they searched all cars in and out of town. Also all ports and airports. People were asked to empty their pockets to ensure they were not hiding a fugitive lion.

Vans with loudspeakers warned everyone if they see a lion not to approach it in case it is dangerous. They advised people to go indoors, or hide behind a tree, and phone the authorities.

They contacted all zoos to check if any lions were missing. The nearest zoo to us is 50 miles away. The zoos started a lions head-count. They counted lions, as well as tigers, pumas, cheetahs, panthers, lynxes, gerbils, guinea pigs, hamsters and any other creatures likely to be mistaken for a lion. None were missing. However, they discovered that a zoo attendant was having an affair with a waitress in a cupboard in the store-room!

With all this commotion around town, I went to church and started praying about the lion and hoping it would harm no one.

That is when I heard a voice. Very clear in my head. 

It said, "Do not worry my son. I have often mistaken that dog for a lion, Myself!"