Back to University

I went back to University last week. Not as a student; I was visiting a friend of mine who is a professor of graffiti and bad behaviour. He teaches would-be graduates hooliganism and wearing torn clothing as a sign of new fashion.

You should have seen some of the students there. I asked myself where do they come from? Are we really saving the planet for the likes of them?

I think the only way some of them should have been accepted at University is as a scientific exhibit in a glass jar for primates to study.

To misquote Mark Twain, "if they keep on learning at this rate then soon enough they will know nothing at all!"

I think the only reason some of those youngsters were there is to allow their parents to fumigate their bedrooms.

In the cafeteria I sat at a table and talked to some students as part of my research into Higher Level Education - I am writing a paper about it for my business.

I gave a student a piece of paper with the question: If you were on a desert island what luxury item would you take with you?

He replied: A spoon!

Some of those kids were so highly educated that they can bore you on any subject. 

There was this geek looking young man with black rimmed glasses ten times larger than his face. He was studying ancient Greek history and was keen to tell me that the ancient Greek playwright Aeschylus was killed by a tortoise which was dropped by an eagle which feeds on tortoises by dropping them on hard objects. The eagle had mistaken Aeschylus' bald head for a rock suitable for shattering the shell of the reptile. Ironically, Aeschylus had been staying outdoors to avoid a prophecy that he would be killed by a falling object.

Interesting don't you think? NOT!

Has this piece of information enriched my life in any way? Will it be useful for me in life? Apart from wearing a tortoise shell for a hat in case a tortoise fell on my head?

Why do we teach these youngsters subjects that are not likely to help them in a future career? The only jobs this geek will be able to do when he graduates is either teach ancient Greek history to another generation of torn-jeans-wearing students, or be a cashier at a supermarket.

The country, and the world, needs scientists, medical people, computer people and such like; not experts in the velocity of drunken crab under water! Let's teach them subjects relevant to modern society.

But then; what do I know? It's a long time since I last set foot in a University. I failed math so many times when at school I can't even count them! My parents used to buy me alphabet pasta in tomato sauce to teach me to read. Eventually they gave up on my stupidity and bought me spaghetti hoops instead.

I left the University rather disillusioned to learn that 9 out of every 6 students there do not understand percentages. That's almost half or 50%. 

Sad, isn't it?