Think ... Plan Ahead

 

There was this magician whose magic trick was to pull a rabbit out of a hat. Only he didn't realise he was allergic to rabbits. As soon as he put his hand in the hat it swelled many times its original size. That was a magic trick in itself ... put hand in hat it comes out bigger than the whole man himself. The audience were horrified. It was worse when he touched his face and his head grew five times larger.

He tried the trick with different animals. The ferret bit his finger. The hamster jumped into his sleeve and would not get out. The Guinea pig bit him too.

He tried the trick with an elephant, but could not find a hat big enough. He used a blanket instead but the table broke under the weight of the elephant.

All this goes to prove the necessity of thinking and planning ahead.

A friend of mine used to like taking a walk in the country before going to bed. In order to be seen by cars at night he always wore white clothing. One snowy evening he got run over by a snow-plough!

And this goes to prove that you should alter your thinking depending on circumstances. 

For example, did you know that a recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it?

My friend Leonard for instance; his wife asked him "Do you think this swimming costume makes my bottom look big?"

He replied, "I do ..." and she sat on him!

He should have said, "There's more of you to love, my dear!" or some other lie. Instead he tried to be honest.

Which goes to prove that honesty is not always the best policy. So think on before you attempt to lie!

And if you're going to lie make sure you remember what you said. It's like having a photographic memory; but it will take time to develop. 

And remember, a man who will not lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings. Sometimes, it is cleverer to tell the truth outright.

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Later that evening the man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.

"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary."

She looked down at his shoes and said: "You're lying to me! You've been playing golf!"

Which also proves that you have to plan ahead, think and be inventive.

DISCLAIMER: The above article has been written for humourous purposes only, and is not intended to be taken seriously. Any similarities to people or situations in real life only goes to prove that you have been unfortunate to meet people who do not tell the truth. Unlike me; I have never told a lie in my life!!!