Friday, 4 March 2022

Le Magique Extraordinaire

 

Allo Mesdames et Monsieurs. I am Stefan Le Poussin ... zee best prestidigitateur in zee all world. Zis next treek I weel perfoam eez not for zee peopel wiz a sensitive disposition or zee feint of zee hearted.

Eet eez a veree dangerous treek which eet weel amaze you and me also.

I need a volunteer from zee audience ... You Madame ... yes you ... she eez a leetle shy ladies and genteelmen. Pleeze to give a hand full of applause ... thank you ... thank you ...

Bonsoir Mademoiselle ... eet eez so kind for you to volunteer when I point at you to do so ... merci!

Zees treek Mesdames et Monsieurs eez veree dangerous ... I only deed it once at zee rehearsal zees after zee noon ... 

To make eet more exciting I weel do it blind-folded weez my hands tied behind zee back whilst eating raw uncooked unwashed spinach.

Zee young lady weel lie on zees bed of zee nails whilst I weez zee saw cut her in zee half.

(Lady volunteer steps back from stage).

What? You expect me to lie on these nails whilst you cut me up ? You're ******* joking mate. I'm outta here!

Attendez Mademoiselle ... pleeze to wait ... eet eez a veree safe dangerous treek ... I did eet earlier on wiz a volunteer parrot ... 'e did not like eet at first but 'e soon stopped zee screaming ...

Mademoiselle ... pleeze do not zee going away ...

Anee other volunteers from zee audience? Non? You Monsieur? You Madame? Non? Not anee one?

I can do zee other treeks ... I can do zee tap dance like zee Fredee Astaire weez see making of zee noise weez my shoes ... 

Pleeze ... do not zee leave zee theatre ... pleeze to stay ... see ... I dance ...

Tap ... Tap ... Cloppity Clop ... Tap ... Tap ... (He falls!)

24 comments:

  1. I was five years old when l stared
    to learn Ballroom dancing and Tap
    dancing..
    The trouble was with Tap dancing was
    that l kept falling into the sink..! :O).

    How do you saw a woman in half..?
    First you need a box...Then you need a blade...
    You place the lady in the box, then saw her in
    half...
    The difficult bit is putting them back together...!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you ever perform magic tricks, Willie?

      Visit here tomorrow and read/see my magic tricks.

      God bless.

      Delete
  2. Only silly ones like card tricks..
    Very good at card tricks..though l
    wasn't very good at disappearing,
    when told to..! :).

    And.. Abracadabra is a magic word
    used in stage magic tricks...
    Historically it was believed to be
    an incantation having healing powers
    when inscribed on an amulet...!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I liked card tricks. I'll perform one tomorrow.

      God bless.

      Delete
    2. Oh! And l forgot to say..
      I used to win lots of money
      playing 'snap' with a guy that
      stuttered...! :O).

      Look forward to the turn of the
      card..tomorrow! Ace high..you win..!

      Delete
  3. ...Victor,I have enough trouble reading English and then you come up with this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eet eez not my faulte ... eet eez ...

      Sorry, Tom. It's not my fault the post is written like that. It's the accent of the magician when he spoke.

      He was not so good at tap dancing either.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  4. I feel for Le Magique , I flopped a couple times as a magician in another life my own self!!
    From over here, OOPS,
    Sherry & jack

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't know you were a magician, Jack. I bet you were good.

      God bless.

      Delete
  5. LOL, you're a man of many accents and languages. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not me ... it was zee magician!!!

      God bless, Bill.

      Delete
  6. I'll never forget the advice by one of our airline pilots. Having complied with Air Traffic Control's request to change route, he advised, "Never EVER volunteer."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That poor woman was made to volunteer by the magician.

      God bless, Mevely.

      Delete
  7. Dearest Victor,
    That lady was smart enough and not drunk or so, glad she went back.
    His tap dancing also lacked 'practice' it seemed like...😏
    Hugs,
    Mariette

    ReplyDelete
  8. He might need a few more lessons before he is ready for prime time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It would make a good TV comedy, Mimi.

      God bless.

      Delete
  9. What could go wrong?

    Once saw a beautiful scantily clad young lady in a cage lifted several yards off the stage. Puff of smoke and WaLa! There was a tiger in the cage! Pretty sure it was just a trick, the lady was too young to be a cougar.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good one, JoeH. I like it. So nice to see you visiting here again. Thanx.

      God bless.

      Delete
  10. uncooked, unwashed spinach? he likes to live dangerously doesn't he? I don't blame the young lady for running away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, can you imagine? Eating raw spinach on stage!

      God bless, River.

      Delete
    2. I bought a BIG bad of unwashed spinach
      at the supermarket this morning....
      I love it cold..with garlic and olive
      oil..! I'd eat it on stage if l had to..! :O).
      But! Then..there's a lot l have'nt done
      on stage..especially with Wells Fargo..! :O).

      Delete
    3. Raw spinach salad is very nice.

      God bless.

      Delete

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